Street Talk MR. MOJO RIZON: Not necessarily a newsflash…the Browns suck!

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The Browns are a pretty pathetic organization and they’ve had an extra week to savor the stench of their latest rotten egg laid against the Chicago Bears on November 1, falling to the hapless Bears by the score of 30-6. I can’t wait for the Ravens to get out to a quick 7-0 lead and then listen to the cascade of boos falling from the collection of malcontents in Browns Stadium.

If the Browns improve, they’ll stink. Right now they live at the sub-stink level.

ESPN of course is hoping that the Ravens don’t score first. Early points from Joe Flacco & Company could make the game unravel quickly for Cleveland and viewers might even get to take in the 9PM airing of Two and a Half Men.

So it’s no surprise to learn that ESPN was among a group of “investors” coughing up the cash to ensure that the Ravens v. Browns game would not be “Browned-out” and will be aired in the Cleveland metro area. The tickets we hear were distributed to the USO and other Cleveland area organizations.

Wonder if George Kokinis will be there…

Speaking of Kokinis, his battle with the Browns will be interesting to watch. Both sides have hired heavy hitter attorneys. You would think that somehow Roger Goodell, assuming he can stop writing tickets to NFL players for silly fines (see Chad Ochocinco), will intercede and prevent an ugly, drawn out battle.

It’s nice to have Cleveland in the AFC North. The Ravens, Steelers and Bengals all get three bye weeks thanks to Randy Lerner and is sorry ass fantasy team.

All the smack talk aside, the Browns have no chance on Monday Night. The Ravens Achilles Heel is the big play and the Browns, outside of Joshua Cribbs, can’t produce one. They can’t block, they can’t tackle and they can’t throw. The two thorns in the Ravens collective side over the past few years have been Kellen Winslow (Tampa) and Braylon Edwards (New York Jets). Thanks to Eric Mangini both are gone. But I’m sure he’ll pin that on Kokinis.

Hey did you hear about the ticket scam in Pittsburgh? Apparently there are a ton of counterfeit tickets floating around. Not to worry…stadium officials are on it and plan to oust and penalize the imposters. Now if they can only figure out what to do with those counterfeit, imposter, front-runner Steelers’ fans who infiltrate opponents’ stadiums like cockroaches in an unattended restaurant kitchen.

Bring out the hankies for Giants’ co-owner John Mara who is whining about his team having to fly to Denver on three days rest for a Thanksgiving Day battle against the Broncos. I thought Mara, a supposedly influential competition committee member, could pull rank and avoid these unsavory conditions for his G-Men. Maybe Mara should worry more about stupid coaching decisions and a secondary more interested in being philanthropic than stingy.

DID YOU KNOW that the Kansas City Chiefs are 3-30 in their last 33 games? This weekend they play their equally inept archrival the Oakland Raiders. One of the Chiefs 3 wins over what amounts to slightly more than 2 seasons is against the Raiders. This time the Chiefs go into the Black Hole hoping to make it 4 of 34. The Chiefs have won six straight at the hole.

Many in these parts wanted the Ravens to land WR Anquan Boldin. Boldin hasn’t exactly set the world on fire this season (35 catches, 404 yards, 1TD). He was scratched last week. During the past two years Boldin has missed 7 games for Arizona. The Cardinals are 6-1 in those games.

Back to Cleveland, many have criticized the Browns for passing on Adrian Peterson in the 2007 NFL Draft, opting instead for offensive tackle Joe Thomas. Many forget that the Browns passed on LaDainian Tomlinson back in 2001, preferring underachieving defensive tackle Gerard Warren. Such is the Browns’ way…

And finally during Cleveland week, let’s turn towards the King of Cleveland (for now), LeBron James who wants to recognize Michael Jordan’s accomplishments by dropping his No. 23 for No. 6.

"I just think what Michael Jordan has done for the game has to be recognized some way soon," said James. "There would be no LeBron James, no Kobe Bryant, no Dwayne Wade if there wasn’t Michael Jordan first.”

Nice words LeBron but c’mon man! Jordan was the greatest but how did his accomplishments pave the way for you? If Michael hadn’t come along you guys wouldn’t be as good? They have nothing to do with each other not related to money – salaries and endorsements.

James comes off as a good guy with his number swap announcement but give him a few games and his next loss and he’ll don the more appropriate crybaby persona that fits him better than No. 23.

By the way, he’s the next big thing to leave Cleveland and he won’t be the last.

Hey, how did watching C.C. Sabathia and Cliff Lee square off in the World Series work for you Clevelanders?

Read it and weep…Ravens 30, Browns 10

 

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About mr._mojo_rizon

Mr. Mojo Rizon is RSR’s answer to The Sporting News’ “Fly” and The Sun’s exiled “Mr. Flip.” If you are familiar with those columns, you’ll get it.  If not, sit back, brace yourself and enjoy. More from mr._mojo_rizon

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