MOJO’S WEEK 7 PICKS and the Rex Ryan Countdown

Street Talk MOJO’S WEEK 7 PICKS and the Rex Ryan Countdown

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Rex Ryan should be the poster child for Hee Haw! His behavior certainly suggests that he’s auditioning for the part. Jets fans should be embarrassed by his jackass antics and if they aren’t then that might tell you something about them too.

Ryan’s players will defend him and say that they love playing for the Thrill of De-Feet; that he’s a player’s coach and that he allows men to be men.


Ravens fans are ecstatic that his ample parts don’t man the south sideline at M&T Bank Stadium as the team’s head coach.  Word is that everyone at the Ravens’ headquarters not donning shoulder pads is happy that Rex is somewhere, anywhere other than 1 Winning Drive.

There was a day when the Jets didn’t even matter. All of the Bruce Coslets, Pete Carrolls, Rich Kotites, Herm Edwards and Eric Manginis in the world could muster nothing more than a collective yawn from fans around the league. The Jets were merely ho-hum because for the most part, they weren’t very good, mustering just a .464 winning percentage over the past 21+ seasons.

Now they seem to matter for all the wrong reasons.

Yes, it is a nice accomplishment to reach the AFC Championship game two consecutive seasons. But when the winning stops for Rex Ryan, all of his buffoonery will come back and haunt him. Let’s be real here, what owner of a business valued at nearly $1 billion will want a blathering fool as the organizational face? Maybe those shenanigans are cute and endearing when a team is winning, but when they lose Jets owner Woody Johnson will be reminded of:

  • Extreme profanities on Hard Knocks
  • Public Foot Fetish/Swinger Sites
  • Flipping the bird to fans at MMA Event
  • Wearing a wig and mimicking his brother at a presser
  • Insulting a league gentleman in Norv Turner

Ryan serves up reasons to fire him on a silver platter and one day Johnson won’t find the snack master so amusing and begin to feel embarrassed. He will stop laughing with Rex and start laughing at him. Perhaps that day isn’t far off.

The danger in canning the rotund mound of sound is the player backlash. But if this season unravels, and there are signs that it could, the rumblings simmering beneath the surface with players like Santonio Holmes, Plaxico Burress and LaDainian Tomlinson coupled with barbs thrown by former Jets Derrick Mason and Kris Jenkins, that locker room might blow faster than the Thanksgiving buffet table at the Ryan house.

Back to flipping the bird, how about the Packers’ AJ Hawk getting slapped with a $10,000 fine for flipping off his own teammates in a joking way? Yet it’s ok for two coaches to nearly come to blows, nearly start an end of the game brawl and drop f-bombs on camera like Rex Ryan drops Cinnabons. Nice consistency there Mr. Commissioner.

Carson Palmer, fresh from being an armchair quarterback will probably get the start as an NFL quarterback in Oakland against the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday. Lord help Kyle Boller if Palmer doesn’t start. The Black Hole could become Boller’s abyss if No. 3 isn’t behind center.

The angst of the Hole aside, the Raiders paid way too much for a quarterback who might be – who MIGHT BE 75% of what he once was. The expectations are off the chart now for the Raiders – a sure fire recipe for disaster.

Speaking of disasters, what were the Dolphins thinking when they decided to honor the 2008 Florida Gators National Championship Team during a game in which they play host to Tim Tebow (’08 Gators QB) and the Denver Broncos? Are you kidding me? The Dolphins have sold their collective soul. This ownership group shares the same profile with a Ravens fan that will sell his seat to a Steelers fan to profit. It now amounts to an away game at home for the barely breathing Tony Sparano and Company.

And do you realize that the University of Florida is further away from Miami (715 miles) than Atlanta is to Baltimore (678 miles).

On to this week’s game’s…

Last week Mojo found his mojo going 9-3-1 v. the spread and 8-5 on winners bringing the season totals to 32-26-3 .552 and 41-21 .672, respectively.

Bears (-1) @ Bucs (London) ~ Tampa “hosts” the Bears at Wembley Stadium (another of Roger Goodell’s ridiculous ideas) and they are just 2 weeks removed from a pasting courtesy of the San Francisco 49ers (48-3). In between feasts of fish and chips, Julius Peppers, Brian Urlacher and Co. will feast on Josh Freeman. Bears cover the small number.

Redskins @ Panthers (-2.5) ~ The QB controversy will continue in DC after this one but the Skins defense finds a way to make the short trip home with a victory in tow.

Chargers (-2) @ Jets ~ This is the game that sends Rex Ryan seeking needed comfort in the snack drawer. Brace yourself Fireman Ed, this season is about to start circling the bowl.

Seahawks @ Browns (-3) ~ The osprey fly east for the second time in three weeks. Last time they left NY with a W. This time they’ll exit the mistake by the lake with a loss. Dawg Bones will cover.

Texans @ Titans (-3) ~ This is the week that Chris Johnson finally gets it going. Music City will be singing sweet songs of victory after the hometown teams gets into CJ2K cruise control and cover the line.

Broncos @ Dolphins (-1) ~ This should tell you how much Vegas thinks of Tim Tebow. He’ll have Dolphin Stadium on his side and they are playing the hapless Fins who are frontrunners in the Suck for Luck sweepstakes and yet they are still dogs. This game will be a dog too but the wild horses will head back to the mountains with the win and we’ll have to hear endless chatter about Tebow for yet another week.

Falcons @ Lions (-3.5) ~ You never mess with a wounded Lion and most think that Jim Schwartz’ gang will rebound from last week’s loss at Shake Gate. While Mojo agrees, he really likes the extra half point of juice. Lions win but Falcons cover.

Chiefs @ Raiders (-6) ~ The Black Hole should be electric for this one because of the arrival of the newly crowned savior in Oakland, Carson Palmer. If he goes, look for the former Bengal to rely on the legs of Darren McFadden. If Kyle Boller goes, oh boy! Look for Tamba Hali to make an impact play and keep it close in this bitter rivalry game but in the end, the Raiders squeak by. Raiders win but take the points.

Steelers (-4) @ Cardinals ~ If it walks like a trap, smells like a trap and talks like a trap, it’s probably a trap. Pittsburgh will just get by but Mojo happily accepts the 4.

Rams @ Cowboys (-13) ~ Sam Bradford’s alma mater Sooners would present a bigger threat to the Cowboys on Sunday. Lay the line – Dallas in a laugher.

Packers (-9) @ Vikings ~ Christian will be Pondering a lot when he’s on his back looking up at the unreliable Metrodome. Mojo says ponder this – Cheeseheads cover easily.

Colts @ Saints (-14) ~ More interesting than the game will be how NBC tries to keep this laugher interesting. Colts keep pace with the Dolphins in the Suck for Luck sweepstakes as Jim Irsay calls the competition committee and asks for an immediate enactment of the slaughter rule. Saints will go marching into the end zone again and again and again.

Ravens (-8) @ Jaguars ~ Jaguars have MJD and that’s about it. When the only thing you can do is run and your opponent is Ray Lewis & Co., it won’t be a happy ending. Jaguars are tough and physical but they don’t have enough to keep away those birds of prey. Blackbirds cover.


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About mr._mojo_rizon

Mr. Mojo Rizon is RSR’s answer to The Sporting News’ “Fly” and The Sun’s exiled “Mr. Flip.” If you are familiar with those columns, you’ll get it.  If not, sit back, brace yourself and enjoy. More from mr._mojo_rizon


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