The Ravens lost to the Philadelphia Eagles and I need to blame it on someone or something.
Sure, if those lame replacement refs demonstrated even an ounce of consistency, they would never have called offensive pass interference against Jacoby Jones. And if they hadn’t the Ravens would be 4-0 today.
But they did make that call and consequently the Ravens are 3-1 instead.
If only I hadn’t gone down to watch the game at the Hard Yacht Café that day, maybe the outcome would have been different. If my buddy Will had just worn the good luck cap I gave him instead of that ratty looking urine colored Ravens cap that has more losses in it than the Houston Astros.
Seriously, these thoughts I’m ashamed to admit enter my mind as a fan of local sports.
I’ve gone over to friends’ homes to watch games and when things are going well for the Ravens I insist that everyone remain exactly where they are. Why flirt with good mojo right?
Last season several of us gathered at Will’s home when the Ravens were in Cincinnati. Will, upon returning to his lucky end of the couch accidentally sat on the remote and the TV went black – just before Matt Birk snapped it to Joe Flacco.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!
THIS COULD BE DISASTROUS!
Surely this was a voodoo move that dwarfed black cats and beer from Pittsburgh. This had the potential for graphic violence on par with True Blood.
Quickly I jumped up from my chair, perfectly positioned behind the couch to yield maximum good fortune prior to the near devastating remote control snafu, and dashed to the kitchen where the game was also dialed in.
On that very next play, Ray Rice broke free for a 60+ yard touchdown run.
From that point forward, guess which TV we watched during the balance of the game?
Back in 2008, the Ravens played the lowly Cleveland Browns. Midway through the 3rd quarter, the Ravens had fallen behind 27-13. I sat, zapped of any energy – nearly melted into the corner of my couch, devoured by despair.
My dear mother-in-law was our guest that day and she watched how this game absolutely tortured me.
So she quietly meandered into the kitchen and turned on our TV in there to watch another game. She could take no more of the debacle unfolding before us.
Mom probably thought I didn’t notice her seemingly stealth exodus, but I did and ready to grasp for any morsel of hope I wondered if her new location in our humble abode would somehow change the game in a plus way for the Ravens.
TOUCHDOWN Le’Ron McClain! Down by 7.
Dear mother-in-law then had the audacity to think that she could leave the kitchen and rejoin us in the living room.
No-no-no-NO! You stay in there!
And so she did…
TOUCHDOWN Derrick Mason! Tie ball game!
My wife and son and I were jumping up and down. We could smell blood and all of this had to do with my wife’s BEAUTIFUL MOMMA selflessly leaving the room.
The Ravens went on to win 37-27. Game ball to Momma Roche!
The collateral damage of this win still resonates. My mother-in-law, scarred by my superstitions which are really symptomatic of a bigger problem of mine while watching the Ravens – Football Tourette’s, can no longer watch the games live. Seriously!
She now DVR’s every game and then the following day, with perfect knowledge of the game’s outcome, she will watch it in its entirety completely relaxed.
Now THAT would drive me insane, but it works for her and hey, the Ravens are 3-1 despite having the league’s fourth worst pass defense.
Keep doing what you are doing Mom!
The Ravens’ season depends on it!
Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s 7:12 AM and I better finish this piece before it’s 13 after the hour.
What sports superstitions do you have?