About mr._mojo_rizon

mr._mojo_rizon

Mr. Mojo Rizon is RSR’s answer to The Sporting News’ “Fly” and The Sun’s exiled “Mr. Flip.” If you are familiar with those columns, you’ll get it.  If not, sit back, brace yourself and enjoy.

Ravens Problems Start at the Top

Ravens won’t win again until September! This team is a stock that is begging to be sold high! RG3 may set the single game record for rushing yards by a QB in a game against us this week. Plain and simple this is a terrible matchup for the Ravens pitting two teams heading in opposite directions. We may beat Cincinnati but that’s it. Let’s be honest here, the Ravens stink and Haloti Ngata may be the most overrated player in the NFL. I watched him almost exclusively Sunday. He is...

Pittsburgh Steelers out on bail?

1934 throwback uniforms
In Pittsburgh today the Steelers will host the Washington Redskins at Heinz Field wearing their 1934 throwback uniforms. <holding in laughter> These things actually look like throw-AWAYS from the Pennsylvania State Penitentiary. They are an insult to school busses and even HAZMAT signs. These things are… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh, man, only the freakin’ Pittsburgh Steelers! BLACK AND YELLOW. BLACK AND YELLOW. BLACK AND YELLOW…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. Well, on a slightly more serious note, it is nearly Halloween so Mike Tomlin has his little boys dress up as cutie-patootie bumble bees....

MOJO’S WEEK 13 PICKS plus why Mike Vick is a bust!

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Is Michael Vick a bust? Well that depends on what you mean by a bust now doesn’t it? The guy can flat out ball. He’s a superior athlete who has all the tools. If he was a baseball player they’d say he was a 5-tool guy. But that doesn’t make him a good quarterback just like it never made the highly touted journeyman outfielder Felix Pie an All-Star. Throughout his life Vick’s athleticism has been superior to everyone he lined up against. All the strategy in the world couldn’t consistently...

MOJO’S PICKS: How do you spell jerk? S-U-H

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During my gridiron days which were rather unimpressive, Mojo met a few players who were absolute gentlemen off the field. BUT, when they buckled up their chinstraps and popped in their mouthpieces, something happened to them. It was as though the smell of dirt, sweat and sometimes blood would awaken something within them, akin to the way a full moon might awaken a beast from the haunted moors of England. Ndamukong Suh is one of those players. At least Mojo used to think so. Tolerating fools and jerks isn’t a...

MOJO’S TURKEY PICKS

Ok, Mojo is a bit detained at the moment. Somehow this morning morphed from a Bloody Mary to overcome the greatest happy hour night of the year (Thanksgiving Eve) and then that became a pumpkin ale (which Mojo actually hates) and then a coffee with Bailey’s. Needless to say, it’s already a Happy Thanksgiving… But, let me get to today’s 3 games and I’ll hit up the balance of the schedule tomorrow. Packers (-4) @ Lions ~ Many are predicting an upset and the line suggests that it’s possible. But...

MOJO’S TURKEY PICKS

Aaron_Rodgers
Ok, Mojo is a bit detained at the moment. Somehow this morning morphed from a Bloody Mary to overcome the greatest happy hour night of the year (Thanksgiving Eve) and then that became a pumpkin ale (which Mojo actually hates) and then a coffee with Bailey’s. Needless to say, it’s already a Happy Thanksgiving… But, let me get to today’s 3 games and I’ll hit up the balance of the schedule tomorrow. Packers (-4) @ Lions ~ Many are predicting an upset and the line suggests that it’s possible. But...

MOJO’S WEEK 11 PICKS plus some “love” for “Cro”

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Will he play or will he sit out? That’s the question Ravens head coach John Harbaugh is hoping resonates in the collective mind of the Bengals coaching staff. Earlier this week it was reported by the Carroll County Times that Ray Lewis would miss at least this week’s game against divisional rival, the Cincinnati Bengals. From what we’ve seen from Coach Harbaugh at a recent presser is that he’s feeling a little testy about the info leak. Apparently he feels it gives Marvin Lewis & Company a tactical edge. So...

MOJO’S WEEK 10 PICKS: Plus The Steelers are Crying Another Three Rivers

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Nobody asked me but the Redskins organizationally put themselves in a pickle and here’s why… Dan Snyder being Dan Snyder pulls a Dan Snyder move and hires Mike Shanahan. Now Shanahan was a great offensive coordinator for the 49ers back in a day, and he pretty much sucked as the head coach of the Oakland Raiders. He moved on to Denver as we all know and rode the back of the great John Elway and an awesome rushing attack to two Super Bowl titles. But what has he done since...

MOJO’S WEEK 9 PICKS & the 2 point conversion

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Peyton Hillis, the cover boy of Madden 2012 (thanks to the citizens of Cleveland who have nothing better to do than vote on line) is still bitching and moaning and aching over his itty bitty salary and his hamstring. Well boo-freakin’-hoo! This dude isn’t too bright now is he? When did they tell Hillis that pretending to PMS is a great way to create leverage in contract discussions? Man up and pretend you are Matt Forte or Ray Rice. Now there are two players digging in and doing it the...

MOJO’S WEEK 8 PICKS plus something to Ponder

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Today I heard an old Beatles track called, “I’m a Loser” and immediately thought of Donovan McNabb. In an interview that will air on the Sunday Night Football broadcast, the very capable Andrea Kremer asked McNabb if he should be the starter in Minnesota. “Absolutely!” was 5’s reply. “Well, I mean, everyone focuses on my position,” McNabb continued.  “We should be sitting here, I’ll be honest, at about what, 4-3, 5-2, or whatever?  We had games that we should have won, but we just didn’t. Now is it the quarterback...

MOJO’S WEEK 7 PICKS and the Rex Ryan Countdown

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Rex Ryan should be the poster child for Hee Haw! His behavior certainly suggests that he’s auditioning for the part. Jets fans should be embarrassed by his jackass antics and if they aren’t then that might tell you something about them too. Ryan’s players will defend him and say that they love playing for the Thrill of De-Feet; that he’s a player’s coach and that he allows men to be men. Blah-blah-blah. Ravens fans are ecstatic that his ample parts don’t man the south sideline at M&T Bank Stadium as...

Mojo’s Week 6 Picks

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GOT MIDOL? Current and former New Jersey based footballers are PMS-ing these days. Let’s start with the Toe Monster’s Gang Green. Wide Receiver Santonio Holmes has deciphered everything wrong with the Jets inept offense – it’s the O-Line and he’s gone public with his opinion. Jets guard Brandon Moore took exception to Holmes’ allegations, particularly the public delivery method.  This one should be fun to watch. Wouldn’t it be great to be a fly in that huddle if things break down against the Miami Guppies this weekend? Staying with the...

MOJO’S PICKS: And the NFL’s Crying Game

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The crying game begins with FOX’ Mike Pereira, the former head honcho of NFL zebras. Apparently Pereira thinks another crybaby, Michael Vick should be fined for comments suggesting that game officials don’t give him the same protective respect that they extend to other quarterbacks. “I think what [Vick] did was basically throw the 17 referees in the National Football League under the bus and put them in a very difficult position,” Pereira said.  “A referee now based on what Mike said, as far as I’m concerned, is in a lose-lose...

FAKER! Mojo notes and Week 3 Picks

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Mojo has come to the conclusion that Cincinnati is one boring town for NFL players. Just when the Bengals thought that regular trips to the pokey for its players had finally come to a halt (the last arrest was way back on July 17, 2011 when Cedric Benson got a little rough with a family member), along comes a report that ties Bengals receiver Jerome Simpson and Bengals offensive lineman Anthony Collins to 7.5 pounds of dirt – i.e. marijuana. No arrests have been made (yet) but leave it to...

Mojo’s Week 2 Mojo: Plus a few shots at some league crybabies

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The Steelers had their asses handed to them by the Ravens on Sunday and since then, they (with the exception of Troy Polamalu and Casey Hampton who have admitted to the woodshed beating) have done nothing but bitch and moan. What a bunch of crybabies going on and on about the Ravens alleged chop blocking. Just shut up and take out your frustrations on the pansies from Seattle already! Speaking of whining, the Titans’ Chris Johnson is now claiming that those Baltimore Bad Boys tried to put a boo-boo on...

MOJO RIZON: Keeping it Real!

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I read that offensive tackle Bryant McKinnie chose the Ravens over the Browns. Really? Kind of like picking Ruth’s Chris over McDonald’s, Grey Goose over rail or Claudia Lynx (pictured) over Betty White. Don’t’ get caught up in the highs and lows of preseason performances – they can often be a mirage. Big name players regardless of what you hear aren’t really going full tilt. What’s the upside in that? And when matched up against reserves, low draft picks and undrafted players playing with their hair on fire, the results can...

MOJO RIZON: Mojo hits up on Romo, Simpson, “America’s Team” & more

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Josh Wilson was recently criticized by Ravens fans after The Baltimore Sun threw up an inflammatory blog titled, “Wilson says no comparisons between Ravens and Redskins fans”. Here’s what the former Raven told the Washington Post: “One thing about it, they have nowhere near the tradition of Redskins fans,” Wilson said with a grin. “…My uncle is 50-so years old and all they know are Redskins and you’d almost think somebody’s died when the Redskins have lost. And now I’m getting all these phone calls asking, ‘What do you think...

A “Tribute” to The Steelers and Their Fans

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As Ravens fans we loath that large collection of towel waving Yinzers who have a collective sense of entitlement and bad teeth. They skip the “Evolution Line” (of course I jest, I think) and I could go on and on about other heinous and classless acts of Stiller fandom but I’ll refrain for now. There’s enough of that going down on message boards. Instead I’ll revel in the game’s build up. Steelers’ week is like the playoffs and it doesn’t really matter what year it is. As the game approaches...

Several swings, several misses in Baltimore

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Just how sad and pathetic are those other birds in town? Well let’s put things in perspective. Remember that 0-21 start to the Orioles’ 1988 season? That season ended with a franchise worst 54-107 record. This year the O’s are on pace to shatter that mark and finish 43-119. In order to best their franchise worst the O’s must go 38-60 the rest of the way. Now this might not seem like such a tall task but that mark is a .388 winning percentage and to get there, the O’s...

O’s bobble on bobbleheads while Ravens rock new boards

The Ravens have completed their installation of two new 24-by-100-foot HD boards at M&T Bank Stadium. But they didn’t stop there. The team also announced that they will feature the way cool product, NFL Red Zone on the new screens during breaks in the action. "This goes to giving our fans the same thing they can get at home," Ravens president Dick Cass said. Not so fast Dick. Last time I checked I don’t have to wait 10 minutes to relieve myself of the rented beer when at home nor...