5 REASONS WHY THE RAVENS WILL WIN

1. OFFICIATING: Crew chief Bill Leavy is so old and his eyesight so bad, that he probably won’t even recognize Tom Brady. That levels the playing field for the Ravens since Mr. Bundchen is so accustomed to playing with preferential treatment and when in doubt gets the nod on close calls.

2. EVANS & CUNDIFF GET CUNDIFFED: No one was more disappointed to see the Ravens release beleaguered place kicker Billy Cundiff than Bill Belichick. In fact Cundiff got a tryout earlier this season in New England and the word is Belichick just wanted to thank the man.

However, making matters worse for Coach Hoodie, the Ravens also parted ways with the Patriots other AFCC MVP Lee Evans. Cundiff’s and Evans’ replacements rookie Justin Tucker and Pro Bowler Jacoby Jones have been major upgrades and are likely to figure prominently on Sunday. Without Evans and Cundiff last season, the Ravens would have gone on to represent the AFC in Super Bowl XLVI far more proudly than the Patriots who are regularly B-slapped by the New York Giants.

3. NO HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE: This is Baltimore’s fifth visit to Foxboro since October 2009. The Ravens have played there so often that several players on the team have apartments nearby. It just feels a little like home.

Plus it will be so freaking cold on Sunday night that fans aren’t going to want to move much or even say much because it might break their frozen faces. And let’s not forget, clapping with gloves on doesn’t make all that much noise and if the fans try to whistle, their fingers might stick to their tongue like Flick to the pole in A Christmas Story.

4. TAKE WILFORK OUT: In last year’s AFC Title Game Vince Wilfork was arguably the best player on the field. He dominated Ravens’ center Matt Birk and guards Ben Grubbs and Marshal Yanda didn’t fare much better.

To help neutralize Wilfork the Ravens plan to make the wide-bodied defensive tackle put the fork in Wilfork at the St. Mary’s Church pancake social on Sunday afternoon at 4PM. Wilfork has agreed to take on Ravens defensive tackle Terrence Cody in a southern-style blueberry, powdered sugar pancake eat off.

The Ravens are prepared to give Cody a bonus if he can effectively push Wilfork to the brink of exhaustion. John Harbaugh, while he has grown to appreciate Cody’s role in the Ravens defensive line rotation, said he’s willing to sacrifice the bubbly tackle if the “battered down” Wilfork plays a little slower and is on the field for a few less plays. The Ravens skipper sees it as a big net gain for his guys.

5. WACKO FOR FLACCO: You’ve heard the old slightly tongue-in-cheek story that the only player ever to really put the clamps on Michael Jordan was Hall of Fame basketball coach Dean Smith from the University of North Carolina. History has a way of repeating itself and now that Harbaugh had the cojones to fire former offensive coordinator Cam Cameron (actually the firing was forced upon Harbs), Joe Flacco has been a machine. His numbers have been so good since the play-calling switch to Jim Caldwell that Patriots fans now hope that Tom Brady can put up Flacco-esque numbers on Sunday. And now that Flacco has shed the Fu Man Chu that he sported in the last AFCC, word is that Mrs. Brady has noticed.

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