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Thread: Facebook QBs.

  1. #1

    Facebook QBs.



    It seems that the board's attention toward Facebook QBs has diminished with the teams' struggles. However, I have to admit, the most recent ones are still hilarious.

    This is the one for the week the Ravens defeated the Bengals: http://profootballmock.com/facebookc...ook-fine-line/

    Then, this is the one they did for the past week: http://profootballmock.com/facebookc...ivision-quest/

    Hilarious.
    "When questioned, the Elders explained that they were in search of magical powers. However, they're actually searching for the whereabouts of a certain ring. This ring is a legendary treasure that long ago was known to exist"




  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Re: Facebook QBs.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Excellector View Post
    It seems that the board's attention toward Facebook QBs has diminished with the teams' struggles. However, I have to admit, the most recent ones are still hilarious.

    This is the one for the week the Ravens defeated the Bengals: http://profootballmock.com/facebookc...ook-fine-line/

    Then, this is the one they did for the past week: http://profootballmock.com/facebookc...ivision-quest/

    Hilarious.
    That repurposing of Nicholson's speech from "A Few Good Men" is a fucking instant classic!




  3. #3

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    RILEY COOPER

    Have y’all noticed how my stats have SHOT UP ever since the Eagles have been starting a “proper” QB?

    6 hours ago . Like
    [ROGER GOODELL]
    ROGER GOODELL

    Cooper, this is probably not a good time for you to express your opinions on…

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RILEY COOPER]
    RILEY COOPER

    THANK GOD WE KICKED MICHAEL VICK TO THE BACK OF THE BUS.

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RGIII]
    RGIII

    Cooper, you inbred hillbilly nutrag. That’s an UNBELIEVABLY racist thing to say.

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RILEY COOPER]
    RILEY COOPER

    Hey, no offense Griffin. But you people just don’t have what it takes to succeed as an NFL QB.

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RICHIE INCOGNITO]
    RICHIE INCOGNITO

    What do you mean, “you people?”

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RGIII]
    RGIII

    What do YOU mean, “you people?”

    lolololol. What was the name of that movie again, where Robert Downey Jr. played a black guy? Jack Black was in it too wasn't he?
    "When questioned, the Elders explained that they were in search of magical powers. However, they're actually searching for the whereabouts of a certain ring. This ring is a legendary treasure that long ago was known to exist"




  4. #4

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    [JOE FLACCO]
    JOE FLACCO

    Don’t look now Sprocketholes, but my RAVENS ARE CLIMBING BACK INTO CONTENTION!

    4 hours ago . Like
    [JOE FLACCO]
    JOE FLACCO

    DIDJA SEE ME AND MY FLAC CLUB BEAT THE BENGALS IN O.T. YESTERDAY?

    4 hours ago . Like
    [NICK FOLES]
    NICK FOLES

    “Flac club?” What the hell is a Flac Club?

    4 hours ago . Like
    [JOE FLACCO]
    JOE FLACCO

    THE FIRST RULE OF FLAC CLUB IS, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FLAC CLUB!

    4 hours ago . Like
    [ELI MANNING]
    ELI MANNING

    What’s the second rule of Flac Club?

    4 hours ago . Like
    [JOE FLACCO]
    JOE FLACCO

    That we hate Romo.

    4 hours ago . Like
    [ELI MANNING]
    ELI MANNING

    Well, that makes sense.
    "When questioned, the Elders explained that they were in search of magical powers. However, they're actually searching for the whereabouts of a certain ring. This ring is a legendary treasure that long ago was known to exist"




  5. #5

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    [J.J. WATT]
    J.J. WATT

    I AM GETTING SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!

    4 hours ago . Like
    [J.J. WATT]
    J.J. WATT

    My team is going NOWHERE! I’ve been a defensive superstar for two years now, all in a wasted effort!

    4 hours ago . Like
    [DeMARCUS WARE]
    DeMARCUS WARE

    Only two years? You’re adorable.
    "When questioned, the Elders explained that they were in search of magical powers. However, they're actually searching for the whereabouts of a certain ring. This ring is a legendary treasure that long ago was known to exist"




  6. #6

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    [CHAD HENNE]
    CHAD HENNE

    WE GOT OUR FIRST WIN, BABY!

    4 hours ago . Like .

    THE TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS win the Florida failure pool.
    [MATT STAFFORD]
    MATT STAFFORD

    Chad Henne, you can’t brag about that win too much. Remember, you were playing a pretty bad team.

    4 hours ago . Like
    [MATT STAFFORD]
    MATT STAFFORD

    Do you remember? REMEMBER THE TITANS?!

    4 hours ago . Like
    [JAY CUTLER]
    JAY CUTLER

    Oh my god, shut up Stafford.

    4 hours ago . Like
    [PHILIP RIVERS]
    PHILIP RIVERS

    And now Jake Locker apparently has a serious Lisfranc injury that could end his season.

    4 hours ago . Like
    [JAKE LOCKER]
    JAKE LOCKER

    IT’S ONLY A FLESH WOUND!

    4 hours ago . Like
    [MATT STAFFORD]
    MATT STAFFORD

    Then I guess that makes him a “HURT LOCKER?!”

    4 hours ago . Like
    [JAY CUTLER]
    JAY CUTLER

    SHUT UP STAFFORD.

    4 hours ago . Like
    [MATT STAFFORD]
    MATT STAFFORD

    What?

    4 hours ago . Like
    [JAY CUTLER]
    JAY CUTLER

    I said shut up, Stafford.

    4 hours ago . Like
    [MATT STAFFORD]
    MATT STAFFORD

    What?

    4 hours ago . Like
    [AARON RODGERS]
    AARON RODGERS

    SAY “WHAT” AGAIN. I DARE YOU. I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER, SAY “WHAT” ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!
    "When questioned, the Elders explained that they were in search of magical powers. However, they're actually searching for the whereabouts of a certain ring. This ring is a legendary treasure that long ago was known to exist"




  7. #7
    iggyman555 Guest

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    tropic thunder
    Quote Originally Posted by The Excellector View Post
    RILEY COOPER

    Have y’all noticed how my stats have SHOT UP ever since the Eagles have been starting a “proper” QB?

    6 hours ago . Like
    [ROGER GOODELL]
    ROGER GOODELL

    Cooper, this is probably not a good time for you to express your opinions on…

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RILEY COOPER]
    RILEY COOPER

    THANK GOD WE KICKED MICHAEL VICK TO THE BACK OF THE BUS.

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RGIII]
    RGIII

    Cooper, you inbred hillbilly nutrag. That’s an UNBELIEVABLY racist thing to say.

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RILEY COOPER]
    RILEY COOPER

    Hey, no offense Griffin. But you people just don’t have what it takes to succeed as an NFL QB.

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RICHIE INCOGNITO]
    RICHIE INCOGNITO

    What do you mean, “you people?”

    6 hours ago . Like
    [RGIII]
    RGIII

    What do YOU mean, “you people?”

    lolololol. What was the name of that movie again, where Robert Downey Jr. played a black guy? Jack Black was in it too wasn't he?




  8. #8

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    I read those every Monday night, and a few times during the week just for giggles.

    It's the way they always maintain the same personality that's so impressive. Rodgers, "Wilson, I'm going to wrap my d*ck around your throat and start you like a lawnmower." The Rapist is an idiot, nobody likes Romo, Cutler's mom is a slut, Flacco isn't elite, Brady is banging every woman he can, and Eli is the forgotten son in the Manning family.

    That whole website is brilliant.
    This is a novel I was asked to proofread. The author is giving 10% of the profits to kidney research, which is a big deal in the Darb household. Fair warning; it's a fantasy novel, and the main characters are lesbians. It's three bucks on kindle from Amazon.http://www.amazon.com/WINDOWS-BROKEN...ken+fairy+tale




  9. #9

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    Nothing topped this one...

    [JOSH McCOWN]
    JOSH McCOWN

    I’ll tell you what’s a bold strategy. A backup QB leading the Big Bad Bears back atop the NFC North! YAY ME.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [JOE FLACCO]
    JOE FLACCO

    DAMMIT. We needed to win that game. But the stupid weather delay broke our momentum. IT’S NOT FAIR!

    3 hours ago . Like
    [GOD]
    GOD

    TOUGH LUCKO, JOE SUCKO,

    3 hours ago . Like
    [PHILIP RIVERS]
    PHILIP RIVERS

    God Almighty? Supreme being of the universe and creator of all things in heaven and earth?

    3 hours ago . Like
    [GOD]
    GOD

    Look Flacco, I caused a power outage in the Super Bowl. I sent lightning and high winds to delay your season opening game against Denver.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [GOD]
    GOD

    And yesterday, I caused a mighty thunderstorm to royally fuck with your game against the Bears.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [GOD]
    GOD

    HOW MUCH MORE CLEARLY CAN I SAY THIS? I HATE YOUR STUPID RAVENS.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [JOE FLACCO]
    JOE FLACCO

    But… you let us win the Super Bowl last February.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [GOD]
    GOD

    That was just because I was hoping it would really piss off Satan.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [BILL BELICHICK]
    BILL BELICHICK

    It did.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [ELI MANNING]
    ELI MANNING

    So then who is your favorite team, God?

    3 hours ago . Like
    [GOD]
    GOD

    Well, it used to be the Browns, back in the 50’s. Until I decided to forsake them.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [BROWNS FANS]
    BROWNS FANS

    WE KNEW IT.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [GOD]
    GOD

    Now I just pretty much root for whoever plays the Eagles.

    3 hours ago . Like
    [EAGLES FANS]
    EAGLES FANS

    BRING IT ON, FAT MAN. WE’RE NOT AFRAID OF YOU. COME TO THE LINC AND YOU’LL GET A BATTERY CHUCKED RIGHT AT YOUR HOLY HEAD.




  10. #10

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    CAM NEWTON
    HAHA. I gotta hand it to you Matt Ryan. You found a creative way to avoid your annual playoff collapse. BY FAILING TO QUALIFY FOR THEM
    This is a novel I was asked to proofread. The author is giving 10% of the profits to kidney research, which is a big deal in the Darb household. Fair warning; it's a fantasy novel, and the main characters are lesbians. It's three bucks on kindle from Amazon.http://www.amazon.com/WINDOWS-BROKEN...ken+fairy+tale




  11. #11

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    Just in case anyone is wondering, Darb touched on most of the characters. This is a conversation that all of the QBs have on facebook. Occasionally, depending on something that might have happened in NFL news, there will be other characters involved. Such as the referee that Trent Williams accused of cursing.

    This is pretty much a list of the QBs characters: (To add to Darb's post)
    Tom Brady is the Super arrogant one that's always looking to bang other women, or even come up with reasons to bang other women.
    Peyton Manning is the super cocky one that often refers to himself as 'Peyton Goddamn Manning'.
    Drew Brees is the one that often comes up with made up words and creates his own definition for them. He's often made fun of because of the scar on his face.
    Aaron Rodger is another cocky one, often referring to himself as 'The Might Aaron Rodgers', who has an undying hatred for Russell Wilson, over the hail mary game from last year.
    Russell Wilson, in return, is a troll, often focusing his one-two word retorts at Rodgers, leading Rodgers into angry rage.
    Matthew Stafford is the flaky/corny one who used to think they were talking on twitter, so he'd send PMs to certain QBs over the actual facebook convo.
    Jay Cutler is the one with the attitude that thinks everything is stupid, but it whose mother is often made fun of for being a whore
    Christian Ponder is the one whose name no one can ever remember correctly.
    Colin Kaepernick was the one with the bravado, who at one moment, was really a dolphins fans (The hat incident)
    Matt Ryan didn't have much of an individual character until last year, where he started receiving threats from Tony Gonzalez. He's still receiving those threats and as soon as he shows up, Tony's not far behind.
    Sam Bradford, is an uber-pervert. I mean UBER, constantly saying things that makes the other QBs want to throw up.
    Ben Roethlisberger is the dumb one that explains all of the jokes that the other QBs make.
    Andrew Luck is the super professional one that always gives respects to the other QBs and teams, no matter what they say to him.
    RGIII has memory loss from the concussions.
    Eli Manning is now the forgotten son of the Manning family. He and Peyton often get into arguments in front of their father over who the most accomplished is. When Eli isn't struggling, Cooper Manning takes up the role of the forgotten son.
    Philip Rivers is the one who introduces all outside characters when they show up.
    Alex Smith has a feud with Colin Kaepernick and now Peyton Manning
    Joe Flacco is the one who gets no respect. It started last year. No matter what Flacco did during the playoff run to prove that he was an Elite QB, the other QBs would come up with the most random reasons as to why he wasn't. Now, they've started acting like they've forgotten that Joe won the Super Bowl.
    "When questioned, the Elders explained that they were in search of magical powers. However, they're actually searching for the whereabouts of a certain ring. This ring is a legendary treasure that long ago was known to exist"




  12. #12

    Re: Facebook QBs.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Excellector View Post
    Joe Flacco is the one who gets no respect. It started last year. No matter what Flacco did during the playoff run to prove that he was an Elite QB, the other QBs would come up with the most random reasons as to why he wasn't. Now, they've started acting like they've forgotten that Joe won the Super Bowl.
    I loved the post SB one, Joe, you've won a SB, you were MVP, you're now elite. By the way, how many yards did you throw? 240? You need at least 300 to be elite, sorry you're not elite.




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