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05-16-2008, 03:00 PM #1Newbie
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
No, you may not "borrow" some propane...The Tailgate Thread
With preseason still months away I am sure we are jonesing for a little tailgating. I came across a funny article that published a list of the most annoying people you will see while tailgating. You can read the full article here but I thought I would include some choice excerpts.
Acoustic Guitar Guy - This douche-bag is normally found tailgating before concerts but don’t count him out tailgating before a sporting event. You have all seen him. This guy breaks out the acoustic guitar whenever he thinks someone wants to hear his rendition of “Hello” by Lionel Richie. He does this not because he really loves music but because he thinks playing the guitar impresses women enough to sleep with him later. You can spot him strumming pathetically all by himself hoping some drunk girl will recognize him playing “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn“. Hey Acoustic Guitar Guy, please save it for the youth group camping trip.
The Attention Whore - Normally a girl dressed completely inappropriate for the weather and the event she is tailgating. You can spot her a mile away, normally sporting more cleavage than Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet. This surgically enhanced single mother with low self-esteem will wear a mini skirt to Lambeau Field in December if she thinks it will get men to notice her. She’ll volunteer to get everyone beers from the cooler just knowing that everyone will be starring at her whale tail. Stay at home attention whore. It’s not our fault daddy didn’t hug you enough when you were young.
The Liquid Diet Guy - This guy is only interested in one thing, getting hammered. You could have the greatest spread of tailgating food ever placed before mankind, this guy just wants to drink. Shots of tequila followed by Jell-o shots chased with a 24 oz. can of Bud. All in a day’s work for Liquid Diet Guy. Sadly, he overpaid for his ticket to the game or concert and gets too drunk to get in or is too wasted to even know who is playing.
The Moocher - This tailgater shows up with nothing but a smile and is always first in line when food and drinks are offered. The Moocher is chronically forgetful and always seems to have just run out of propane on his grill yet he has no problem asking you to squeeze in his crappy food on yours? Your brats looks better than his old hot dogs and you know he will ask for a few. This guy sucks so bad, we wrote about him back in August 2007 in one of our first tailgating etiquette articles.