Dierdorf picks Steelers over Ravens despite playoff elimination
In a stunning turn of events, NFL analyst Dan Dierdorf has picked the Pittsburgh Steelers to advance to the AFC Championship game next weekend. The fact that the Steelers were eliminated from the playoffs by the Tim Tebow led Broncos last week didn't make the pro Steelers analyst waiver in the least bit. "I just think Ben can't be stopped, on one ankle or not. That guy is a Steeler through and through and he won't be denied this weekend".
When Dierdorf was reminded that the Steelers were knocked out of the playoffs a week earlier, he responded "If you think a little thing like that is going to stop this team from hoisting another Lombardi, I say go put the tape in and watch how tough an SOB that Roethlisberger is. I wouldn't be surprised at all if he still found a way to pull this one out even on one leg".
When asked how Roethlisberger was going to "pull this one out" he remarked "look, Ben is an expert at pulling out just ask any one of those ladies in the restrooms. They guy is a professional and he will find a way, I would bet my bottom dollar on it". The oddsmakers seem to be dumbfounded as well on how to handicap this game, with no betting line on the Vegas boards just 48 hours before kickoff. One sportsbook employee who wished to remain anonymous, said they have had problems with Dierdorf before.
"He would call the sportsbook and demand to bet on the Steelers, very excited, even though they weren't playing or had already played that week. Bye weeks, offseason it didn't matter. He was becoming a problem and we had eventually had to cut him off. He started to cry over the phone rambling incoherently about how we were doubting Ben, and not showing him the respect he deserved for being a Steeler".
Incidents like that one highlight a disturbing pattern events in Dierdorf's past relating to his love of the Steelers and Roethlisberger. There were unconfirmed reports of a streaker running through the streets of his neighborhood right after the Steelers latest Super Bowl win, naked and waving a "terrible towel" while chanting "Here we go Steelers, here we go!!". Eyewitnesses say it was clearly Dierdorf, but mentioned that they are used to his behavior by now.
One neighbor claims that Dierdorf has barricaded himself inside his residence 5 times this year, all after Steeler losses. "After the first game against Baltimore it was the worst. All we could hear from his house was screams of "make it stop! make it stop! Get up Ben GET UP". Keep in mind this was at 2am and the game had been over for hours." Police would not comment on the situation, only saying the department was aware of Dierdorf and they were monitoring the situation.