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  1. #1
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    Official Divorce Agreement



    Chain email I received today from a friend, I got a chuckle out of it.

    Official Divorce agreement:

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what
    is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:

    --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be
    the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    --We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

    --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

    --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

    --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

    --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

    --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

    --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

    --We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

    --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

    --You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

    --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

    --You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

    --We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

    --We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

    --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

    --We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    Sincerely,

    John J. Wall

    Law Student and an American

    P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you, and don’t forget Alec Baldwin, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga..

    P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
    “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

    –Eleanor Roosevelt




  2. #2
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    Re: Official Divorce Agreement

    If we're dividing up the land mass. I'll go with the south (Virginia straight across to southern cal) and we can finally secure the border.




  3. #3
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    That's good....really. I am always looking for good examples of how people celebrate this form of thinking. I guess my side gets to keep all of the universities, museums, craft beers, national parks, coffee shops, literature and the Kennedy Center right? This doesn't offend the liberal mind one bit.

    Don't let the door hit you in your Lee's jean wearing ass as you leave.

    Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk








  4. #4
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    Re: Official Divorce Agreement

    Quote Originally Posted by Galen Sevinne View Post
    That's good....really. I am always looking for good examples of how people celebrate this form of thinking. I guess my side gets to keep all of the universities, museums, craft beers, national parks, coffee shops, literature and the Kennedy Center right? This doesn't offend the liberal mind one bit.

    Don't let the door hit you in your Lee's jean wearing ass as you leave.

    Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk
    Literature.... seriously?

    A typical rationalization from a typical social progressist.

    I'm a Levis guy, FWIW.
    “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

    –Eleanor Roosevelt




  5. #5
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    Re: Official Divorce Agreement

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirdowski View Post
    Literature.... seriously?

    A typical rationalization from a typical social progressist.

    I'm a Levis guy, FWIW.
    There is a lot literature out there that might bring into question your mighty god. I wouldn't want to see you unknowingly stumble into what Pierre Boulle referred to as the "Forbidden Zone".








  6. #6
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    I digress slightly, but do yourself A favor and read the book "The Structure of Scientific Revolutions."
    “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

    –Eleanor Roosevelt




  7. #7
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    Re: Official Divorce Agreement

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirdowski View Post
    I digress slightly, but do yourself A favor and read the book "The Structure of Scientific Revolutions."

    No thanks, I took a whole semester grad class on Polanyi 20 years or so ago who long paved the way for SSR. I get it. There is a romantic notion to thinking that nothing really matters but in the end everyone grabs hold of something. You're going to tell me that scientific pursuit is nothing more than what I see currently in front of me yet you will quote the bible like there is an absolute value to it.

    No thanks, I'll stick to my Apes to understand your way of thinking.








  8. #8
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    Re: Official Divorce Agreement

    Galen is quite right, it makes perfect sense to believe that the universe came from nothing!

    It just popped into existence with no cause what-so-ever.




  9. #9
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    Yea, Atheists are stupid. Obviously a wizard did it! That's waaaaay more logical that the evidence based belief in the big bang.


    ---
    I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=39.369076,-76.761231
    My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging. -Hank Aaron




  10. #10
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    Re: Official Divorce Agreement

    Quote Originally Posted by ActualSpamBot View Post
    Yea, Atheists are stupid. Obviously a wizard did it! That's waaaaay more logical that the evidence based belief in the big bang.


    ---
    I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=39.369076,-76.761231

    Evidence?




  11. #11
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    Yes, there is plenty of evidence to support the big bang theory. This link is a good source of information from UCLA's astronomy program, you can use it as a first step in furthering your education about the origin of our universe.

    http://www.astro.ucla.edu/~wright/co...tml#BBevidence


    ---
    I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=39.369121,-76.761198
    Last edited by ActualSpamBot; 02-23-2012 at 03:16 PM.
    My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging. -Hank Aaron




  12. #12
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    Sep 2009
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    Re: Official Divorce Agreement

    Quote Originally Posted by ActualSpamBot View Post
    Yes, there is plenty of evidence to support the big bang theory. This link is a good source of information from UCLA's astronomy program, you can use it as a first step in furthering your education about the origin of our universe.

    http://www.astro.ucla.edu/~wright/co...tml#BBevidence


    ---
    I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=39.369121,-76.761198
    More condescension, per usual.

    Your link talks about the Big Bang Theory, as do most, about it being "its development with time". Not the Big Bang Theory as the origin of the universe, as your sarcastic post mocking Greg above started to make.

    Thank you come again.




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