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  1. #1

    Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)



    DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this post are for entertainment purposes only and in no way reflect the beliefs of the management or administration of this delightfully fresh and vibrant website. Any similarities to persons alive, dead, or Lee Evans is purely coincidental. After watching the defense get treated like Paris Hilton in a dimly-lit hotel room, there is no doubt that I felt a change was in order. But never in my worst nightmares could I imagine losing our best cornerback and the living embodiment of the Ravens organization. Ray and Webby, I wish you each a complete and successful recovery and look forward to seeing you play next season.


    HEROES:

    1) JACOBY JONES- My gut feeling couldn't have been more wrong about adding you in the offseason, although admittedly my thoughts were poisoned by Texans fans who now miss you like A-Fraud does HGH... As NFL Special Teams Player of the Week and a damn good wideout, I look forward to you becoming the biggest X-factor the Ravens have had in that dual role since Jermaine Lewis!

    2) RAY RICE- For my money and most of Ravens Nation, you are the engine that keeps this offense humming and evolving into an "elite" unit. Watching you score multiple TDs and put on your usual sensational all-around performance is expected and appreciated. Seeing you mind-freak fools in the open field like Criss Angel in cleats is always ELECTRIFYING.

    3) JOE FLACCO- Crisp, accurate passes while showing HUGE composure under duress Sunday went a long way in elevating the team to a victory that caused my heart to stop beating several times in the final minutes. Really loving your command of the offense when you're in "Joe Cool" mode, bro!

    4) TORREY SMITH/ANQUAN BOLDIN/DENNIS PITTA- Well dip me in shit and call me Stinky... FINALLY, a Ravens receiving corps we can be PROUD of, capable of exploiting ALL areas of the field!!

    5) HALOTI NGATA/COURTNEY UPSHAW/PAUL KRUGER- Playing hurt and playing well despite being double-teamed on every down earns you a hearty salute, Sir. /This rook from Bama is really starting to find his groove lately! Dan Cody he is NOT (Thank goodness). /Quiet as kept, Dez Bryant consciously DECIDED not to catch that 2-point conversion because NOBODY wants to face Paul Kruger in SUDDEN DEATH.


    GOATS:

    1) Brendon Ayanbadejo- Less political talk on Twitter. MORE competent play on special teams, bro.

    2) Cary Williams- Thank you for not signing that $15M offer sheet, dude. Drew Carey >> Cary Williams

    3) Ravens Run Defense- Shouldn't really be on this list, since technically, it didn't even EXIST Sunday.

    4) John Harbaugh- Lost in all of this winning is the fact that this is one of the least disciplined teams in the league in regards to penalties (2nd in the NFL)... ESPECIALLY unforced errors. Fix it now before it leads to our demise. It's about as attractive to watch as a Sandra Bernhard/Rosie O'Donnell threesome with Whoopi Goldberg.

    5) Ed Dickson- Dropping sure touchdowns is NOT the way to get Joe to throw you more passes, Invisible Tight End.

    *This week's Heroes and Goats is dedicated to my great friend, the legendary Mista T!
    Last edited by RAVENOUS52; 10-20-2012 at 07:26 PM.




  2. #2
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    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    Cary's INT couldn't get him off the Goat List?
    "I got this." - Justin Tucker




  3. #3
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    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    Most people are thinking that Cary's INTs are just "gifts" where he just happens into them.

    I'd still put him on the goat list, maybe not as high though. If he wants to get paid, he has to step up now.
    .
    .
    FOR REED, BIRK, BOLDIN, RAY, ART, TEVIN, OJ, and BALTIMORE...
    SUPER BOWL 47 CHAMPION RAVENS!!!!!!

    "We don't make it easy, but that's the way the city of Baltimore is, and that's the way we are. We did this for them back home." - Joe Flacco, Super Bowl 47 MVP


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  4. #4
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    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    ho hum, just another Ravens winning with the offense carrying the defense. isn't that's how we've always done it?

    I've lost track of how many returns I've seen called back for holding ('on the return team') and when JJ ran that in I rolled my eyes and waited for the call ...never came! big play.
    Baltimore Ravens, 2012 NFL Champions!




  5. #5
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    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    Also, when did TROY SMITH start playing for this team????

    Did you mean Torrey?
    .
    .
    FOR REED, BIRK, BOLDIN, RAY, ART, TEVIN, OJ, and BALTIMORE...
    SUPER BOWL 47 CHAMPION RAVENS!!!!!!

    "We don't make it easy, but that's the way the city of Baltimore is, and that's the way we are. We did this for them back home." - Joe Flacco, Super Bowl 47 MVP


    Call me a Special Teams coach again. I dare you! I double dare you, MFer!




  6. #6
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    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    1) Brendon Ayanbadejo- Less political talk on Twitter. MORE competent play on special teams, bro.

    BWAHAHAAAAA! Well played sir!

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  7. #7
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    Yea, penalties have been a big problem this season.

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  8. #8

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    My goat is the OP who included Troy Smith on his list




  9. #9

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    Couldn't agree more with your Goats of the week! The Defense, which seems to have lost its 'manhood'; BA, who is more concerned with political issues than with his performance on special teams; Coach Harbs whose team needs a mega kick in the derrier for their total lack of discipline; and for Cary, woops I played off him too much, Williams. Well done, R52
    "Grab those pusillanimous sons-a-bitches by the nose and kick 'em in the balls.." General George S. Patton




  10. #10

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dade View Post
    Cary's INT couldn't get him off the Goat List?
    Cary's INT could have potentially removed him from the Goat List, until he reverted to form and landed his ass on my $#!T List!




  11. #11

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by RavenScallywag View Post
    Most people are thinking that Cary's INTs are just "gifts" where he just happens into them.

    I'd still put him on the goat list, maybe not as high though. If he wants to get paid, he has to step up now.
    That dude was abused like the Olsen Twins at a backstage Full House Christmas Party. He'll soon go the way of Sergio Kindle if he's not careful, but at least Kindle can claim brain damage.

    He's undersized and consistently playing with poor technique, which explains why he's out of position a lot. Maybe he'll improve (I hope), but would you bet on it?

    UNLEASH THE BEASTS!!!!




  12. #12

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Defensive M.A.S.H. Unit Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by sailorsam View Post
    ho hum, just another Ravens winning with the offense carrying the defense. isn't that's how we've always done it?

    I've lost track of how many returns I've seen called back for holding ('on the return team') and when JJ ran that in I rolled my eyes and waited for the call ...never came! big play.
    Anthony Allen threw one hell of a block that sealed off the key defender and allowed Jacoby to turn on the jets and take it to the house. Reminded me of Jermaine Lewis the way he burst through that seam and had smoke coming from his cleats.

    UNLEASH THE BEASTS!!!!




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