PREMATURE PREDICTIONS: Ravens go 11-5 in 2014

Mike_Tomlin_Tripping_Jacoby_Jones_Ravens_Steelers

Well you’ve got mock drafts and draft grades before the rookies even take the field. And you’ve got Power Rankings during the preseason and even mock drafts for the 2015 NFL Draft prior to those college kids playing a single game in 2014.

Ok, so I’m not going to be that over-the-top but what I will do is predict the Ravens season game-by-game in a cheeky kind of way.

Week 1: Ravens v. Bengals (1-0)

Andy Dalton takes to pressure the way vampires take to sunlight prior to those innovative True Blood fangers. He’s never won at M&T Bank Stadium and there’s little reason to expect him to do so on Opening Day. Whatever the spread is the Ravens will cover it with all the enthusiasm that Jim Nantz and Phil Simms cover the Patriots.

Week 2: Ravens v. Steelers (2-0)

Speaking of which, Nantz and Simms are on the mic for CBS’ first ever Thursday Night game. What a way for Baltimore to celebrate on one of the last Thursday nights of the summer. Steelers have to travel on a short week and the 5,000 or so 34-year-old black and yellow clad eighth graders normally in attendance can’t make it on a school night.

Week 3: Ravens @ The Factory of Sadness (2-1)

10,000 fans wearing beagle masks surround the Ravens team bus preventing the players from taking the field. Roger Goodell declares a forfeit but promises Baltimore the hosting rights to Super Bowl XCIX (99) to help soften the blow.

Week 4: Ravens v. Panthers (3-1)

Blood and guts is the theme at a field within a cannon ball’s reach of Ft. McHenry. We’ll call this one “Steve Smith’s Revenge.” Oh say do you Ice Up?

Week 5: Ravens @ Colts (3-2)

Ravens are 0-5 in Indianapolis. Check that, 0-6.

Week 6: Ravens @ Tampa (4-2)

The Bucs are a road weary team coming off 3 consecutive games away from home. Mix that in with the fact that the Ravens feel quite at home by Raymond James’ pirate ship and this one has all the makings of a Lovie’s booty raid.

Week 7: Flacco v. Ryan (5-2)

As if you need more evidence suggesting the Ravens got the right guy the dirty birds will head back home after Matty Ice’s meltdown trucked, plucked and…well, you know.

Week 8: Ravens @ Bengals (6-2)

Right about at this point in the season Marvin Lewis will be looking at Andy Dalton as a coach killer while Bengals fans will come to realize just how important Mike Zimmer and Jay Gruden were to the big cats.

Week 9: Ravens @ Steelers (6-3)

Steelers will black out the scoreboard on kick returns and this time Mike Tomlin makes contact with Jacoby Jones, forcing a fumble that Referee Bill Leavy (Super Bowl XL) concludes, is not reviewable.

Week 10: Ravens v. Titans (7-3)

For those of you too young to remember, this old AFC Central rivalry was once more bitter than that between the Ravens and Steelers. Although admittedly it was more difficult to hold a grudge against the friendly southern folk from Tennessee than the scantily-toothed citizens of Pennsyltucky.

Week 11: BYE

No trips to DC to see Sweet Pea!

Week 12: Ravens @ Saints (7-4)

Monday Night Football in the Big Easy…unless Kyle Boller somehow is behind center for the Saints this could be a long night for the good guys. At least we’ll have Bourbon Street to drown our sorrows. Bead up!

Week 13: Ravens v. Chargers (8-4)

Philip Rivers will have that 80-year-old walk and a flappy chicken wing going on by this time in the season. Manti Te’o and his newest imaginary girlfriend head back to the west coast with a real “L”.

Week 14: Ravens @ Dolphins (9-4)

Welcome to Miami and 25,000 happy Ravens fans!

Week 15: Ravens v. Jaguars (10-4)

So which Jaguars quarterback will look like a high school senior this season?

Week 16: Ravens @ Texans (10-5)

This one has the makings of a letdown written all over it and all of the kings horses and all of Gary Kubiak’s romantic daydreams about coming home and conquering won’t be able to put this game plan together again for Harbaugh & Co.

Week 17: Ravens v. Browns (11-5)

Ravens clinch the AFC North title with this win which serves as yet another reminder to Browns fans that Santa never stops in Cleveland.

What do you think the Ravens record will be in the 2014 season?
13-3 or better
12-4
11-5
10-6
9-7
8-8 or worse
View Result
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About Tony Lombardi

Tony Lombardi
Tony is 24x7 Networks, LLC's founder (the parent of EutawStreetReport.com and RussellStreetReport.com) His work has been featured on various sports websites and he is a regular guest on 105.7 The Fan. A diehard Fab Four fan, Tony is a frustrated musician who thinks beating on the steering wheel is akin...more

20 Raves on “PREMATURE PREDICTIONS: Ravens go 11-5 in 2014

  1. Rob on said:

    Funny piece. Tony do you not like Nantz? I will take him over Buck and the way he and the Fox crews swing from the sacs of the mediocre NFC East. And those 5K eighth graders are all local unfortunately, however the Steelers are never out of the gate fast, I like playing them twice by week 9.

  2. Bruce_Almty on said:

    Predicting wins & loses wo knowing the players is always fun. I’d like to see a 12-4 or 13-3 year but 9-7 seems much more doable. We have a couple of stars but only a couple. The lose of 1or2, poor play by 1or2 and we are back to an 8-8 team. Still, I’m going with 12-4.
    Bring On the Draft

  3. JWS on said:

    TL, your season long predictions are to be kind sad an dmore wrong than right. This is far too early to be predicting any games or season records. You have a better chance than Mel Kiper in the draft predictions which I have not seen from you yet to get any right which last year Mel Kipper got zero right in round one! We have not seen the draft ,injuries in camp and preseason or final roster along with Rice and the length of his suspension since Pierce is no starter. However the season and schedule looks promising with Bengals tough schedule and raven bye week and other factors.I never predict wins just if ateam willmake the playoffs and the Ravens will !

    • Tony LombardiTony Lombardi on said:

      You’ve completely missed the point of this article.

      And how is it that you know my picks to be more wrong than right? Hiding a crystal ball there JWS?

      Do tell and then let’s go to Vegas!

      • jws on said:

        Tony, Tony always with an attitude. Tell every one how many you got right last year. As I recall in 16 weeks 8 or 9 on Raven games. Most years you have a little more than a 50% winning success rate in 16 games. I don’t have to go to Vegas Tony, since you have not heard yet we have betting on NFL games here in Delaware. The last 3 years, since you ask, I have won 450-1200 dollras profit in all NFL games over 16 weeks betting only 25 dollars per week and won 400 dollars on Seahaawks TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL LAST YEAR WHEN I PLACED THAT BET AS SOON AS DELAWARE BETTING BEGANhere in late August.

  4. Ravcolt on said:

    Is this prediction for the Baltimore Ravens or Edgar, Allan and Poe? Offensive lines, running backs and pass rushers don’t just materialize from thin air – even if they are from Alabama.

  5. Cheri on said:

    Tony i would have to disagree with the rivalry with the Titans being better then the Steelers no way.It was a good rivalry but not to the Steelers level.
    I was also stun that you predicted the Browns to beat the Ravens in Cleveland as I have predicted this as well. I thought I would have been laughed at on here for even suggesting this , though people should remember they beat like us last year.
    My final prediction 9-7 but there are at least 5 games that could go either way.
    The other thing that I noticed is you picked the the Ravens to beat the Bengals twice I do not see this at all if anything I see the the Bengals who are the better team at this moment beaten us twice.These comments are just my opinion and not stated as fact.

    • Tony LombardiTony Lombardi on said:

      During the time of the AFC Central the Ravens best rivalry undoubtedly was the one they shared with the Titans. That said, the CURRENT rivalry with the Steelers far surpasses that.

  6. BmoreB on said:

    @TL…… true about the rivalry with the Titans and I couldn’t hate a coach anymore than I did Jeff Fisher and his 1970′s porn stache. Dude was a jerk and looks like losing a lot of games over the past 10 years has humbled him quite a bit.

  7. Steve on said:

    Looks about right, although I would give the Bungles a little more credit at home and a loss for us there, and a 10-6 record. I could see it going 12-4 or 8-8 as well, based on where we are today (which is unsure off the running game, o-line, new offense coord, Rice suspension).

  8. Joshua on said:

    Will you be doing a win/loss prediction after the draft? With four picks in the first 99 selections, we have an opportunity to draft several rookies that could make an impact this year.

  9. cheri on said:

    Seeing what you mean now yes there was a 2 or 3 year window in the early 2000s where the Titats were our biggest but the STeelers have easily succeeded that. The Steelers had a down period from about 96 to 2000

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