I remember an email sent to me by one of our site visitors a while back. The email chronicled a story that involved a son and his father. The pair had been estranged for quite some time and the news of the Cleveland Browns moving to Baltimore not only fed the son’s insatiable appetite for football, it gave him an excuse to cut through their apparently innate stubbornness and provide an opportunity to rekindle the relationship.
The son bought a pair of PSL’s and season tickets, one for him and one for his dad. The son mailed the tickets to his father and not until kickoff time of that very first Baltimore Ravens preseason home game in 1996 did the son know that the father had accepted the invitation to make things between them right again.
This weekend I remembered that story.
You see I received a call from my son on Friday night informing me that an old friend of mine recently lost his wife to cancer.
My friend and I had not seen each other for quite some time. I didn’t even know that his beautiful bride was sick. The news took my breath away.
I first met Rick while attending Loyola College. We played on an intramural flag football team together at Loyola but again lost touch after Rick graduated, one year ahead of me. A few years later I decided to put together a team to play in the Parkville touch football league. I reached out to Rick again and he accepted the invitation to play.
We played in that league with some other college and high school friends for six years. During that time new friendships were born and old ones rekindled – a bit like that father and son. Once again the game of football and the fields upon which it is played became an inviting setting to live, love, laugh, share and forget about our troubles for a few hours each week.
Naturally the friendships both old and new extended beyond the field of play. Many became much more than just teammates.
My ex introduced Rick to his wife Diane. We were supposed to go on a double date with them but Diane nixed the idea preferring to get to know Rick without our assistance. Theirs was the proverbial match made in heaven and it was obvious the moment I first saw them together that they were destined to be a couple for the rest of their lives.
Only no one thought that the rest of their lives would suffer such a premature ending. No one ever expects such thievery.
Divorce separated me from Rick and Diane. It unfortunately is sometimes an unpleasant byproduct of a broken marriage and that’s why I knew nothing of Diane’s illness until that eye opening phone call from my son.
On Saturday night I paid my respects at the funeral home and there I spoke with Rick for the first time in several years. Fortunately Rick is one of those wonderful souls – one of those beautiful people that come into your life that no matter how much time has separated you, the moment you see each other it’s as though you just said goodbye only the day before.
Initially Rick and I discussed football – this website and our glory days at Loyola and in Parkville. He wondered why it was so easy for me to get the ball to him (he was a tight end) and why the Ravens were struggling to find Heap. Clearly it was the light-hearted small talk that almost always precedes more serious matters that weigh the heart down.
Rick told me that they first heard the news of Diane’s lung cancer back in June of 2007. Diane wasn’t a smoker and she didn’t work in a hazardous factory. She was simply a victim of a genetic flaw.
Rick eloquently described his last 17 months with Diane and said that his love for his bride grew more pronounced and more intense from the time the tragic news was delivered. From that point forward they left no stone unturned in their relationship. In many ways Rick believes today that Diane spent those months preparing him for life after her inevitable passing.
As I knelt beside the body where Diane’s wonderful spirit once thrived, I thought back to the day when she and Rick were married. I remembered their joy their undeniable adoration for each other. And then I thought about the way in which many of our lives are intertwined – the degrees of separation that divide us. And then I thought about our football team and if not for all of us gathering on Saturdays in the fall all those years ago, Rick and Diane might never have discovered a love that they seemed destined for.
Rick and Diane lived, loved, laughed, cried and shared during their short time together more than most couples do who have been together far longer. Their clock ran down to 0:00 far, far too quickly.
Today Rick and his three children will feel cheated as they should. They’ve earned that right.
Yet I hope they can embrace the wonderful memories and intuitive lessons that I know Diane delivered. I hope they celebrate that she was and keep her alive in their hearts.
We all have to because the world just grew a bit dimmer without the bright light that was Diane Urbanski.
