MR. MOJO RIZON: One NFL star can’t say goodbye

Street Talk MR. MOJO RIZON: One NFL star can’t say goodbye

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Mr. Mojo is wondering if future Hall of Famer and reigning drama queen Brett Favre is a devotee of the poet Dylan Thomas because he cannot just go gentle into that good night but rather seems to rage, rage against the dying of the light.  In a way, Mr. M.R. feels sorry for him.  Football is probably all that he knows.  He knows that he is not articulate enough to make it as a broadcaster, and is most likely not patient enough to be a coach, so he stares across the desert that is the rest of his life and thinks…”I don’t know what else I can do.”


 

That being said, Mr. Mojo thinks the NFL should create a new policy regarding retirement announcements.   It will work like a restraining order and they can even call it the “Brett Favre Rule”.  Once you officially announce your retirement you must stay at least three years away from NFL football at all times.


 

History will ultimately be kind to Brett Farve and he will be remembered as one of the greats…the present, however, is really excruciating to watch.


 

If Favre does sign with the Vikings, they better be prepared to provide the prima donna treatment for the salty-haired signal caller.  Last year in New York, No. 4 choose not to be part of the Jets’ locker room, opting instead for a nearby office to dress and store his things. We’re still trying to confirm whether or not Favre actually had a vanity installed in said office.


 

Turning a more sentimental cheek towards the U.S. Open, the prestigious tourney and Father’s Day are without question a winning combination. Like most weekend golfers, Mr. Mojo is not a hacker, nor is he a scratch golfer. Positioned somewhere in the middle Mojo Woods has developed a deep appreciation for a game that is much harder than it looks.  The U.S. Open traditionally falls on the week of Father’s day and it is undoubtedly good mojo to pull up a chair next to Pop, crack open a cold one and enjoy one of the biggest sporting events in our country on his special day.


 

Speaking of the US Open, why doesn’t it get any air time on Baltimore sports radio?  This time of year in Charm City sportsland is as dead as disco; the Orioles are in last place and the Ravens are finished with their OTAs.  You would think one of the most popular sporting events in our nation would get a little more lip service…even in Baltimore.


 

The Mojo Man listens to WNST and 105.7 The Fan every day and only Drew Forrester gives any time to the U.S. Open or golf in general.  Nobody is asking for a daily or weekly sponsored segment on golf, but given the stature of the U.S Open, you’d have to say Baltimore sports radio has collectively shanked it on its coverage.


 

And while we’re on the topic of coverage, DCRTV is reporting that CBS Radio’s 105.7 The Fan has signed a deal with Westwood One to carry the NFL’s primetime package of pro football games this season. The package includes Thursday night, Sunday night, and Monday night games along with the playoffs and the Super Bowl. Nice get for The Fan. Now if they can only (with all due respect to Scott Garceau) pump in Sirius’ NFL channels weekdays from 3-7PM…


 

Mr. Mojo has been called a hater by some and one local talking head has inferred that Mr. M.R. simply vents when PMS-ing.  Well, said talking head, how might you explain your perpetual venting? Menopause?


 

But hey, talk about haters…that FOX 1370’s Jerry Coleman can dish it out. Recently JC opened his show with the topic of steroid use, mocking the usual suspects with sound bites from the suspects that have since been proven to be lies. Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro and Alex Rodriguez have all denied juicing and Coleman in a timely fashion squeezed in those denials after mentioning each of their names.


 

And that brought him to Sammy Sosa, the source of his hating on that particular day.


 

Coleman mocked Sosa for “no habla ingles” during his day before the Congressional Hearing Committee and filled in the faux reply, “Beisbol has been berry, berry good to me.”


 

Yo Coleman, “Glope bajo!”

 

No worries though JC. Just like the last time Mr. Mojo was probably the only one listening.


 

Now you can queue up your crickets’ sound effect.


 

You can “waive” him bye-bye! Or can you? It is highly likely that Donte Stallworth has played his last game as a member of the Cleveland Browns and it’s doubtful that he will see the field in 2009 anywhere else for that matter. In Cleveland, HC Eric Mangini and GM George Kokinis can instead turn towards Braylon “Sir Drops-a-lot” Edwards, Joshua Cribbs, Cedric Steptoe, along with newcomers David Patten, Mike Furrey and rookies Brian Robiskie and Mohammed Massaquoi. Clearly the Browns have options.


 

But that said the Browns will take a big cap hit if they release Stallworth — $7.6 million of big. No one asked Mr. Mojo but if you really want to punish Stallworth Mr. Goodell (with all due respect to the Mario Reyes family), maybe you should make him play in Cleveland. Then the punishment would fit the crime.


 

Given the trouble surrounding Stallworth it’s almost mind-boggling that so many Ravens’ fans want the team to pursue Broncos’ WR Brandon Marshall. Relatively speaking Stallworth is an altar boy compared to Marshall and look at the cap issues Stallworth and his 11 catches as a Brown have created for Kokinis.
 

"Their backgrounds matter," John Harbaugh said recently when questioned about Marshall. "We want to bring guys in here who are what we consider Ravens players. We want to have guys in here who are high-integrity guys … guys who fit on our team. We’re not going to compromise on that."
 

Wouldn’t trading for Marshall and his lengthy rap sheet severely undermine Harbaugh’s principles?
 

Hello, McFly?
 

Don’t know if you saw the sculpture of Joe Flacco here in the Spawn.com toy department and if you did, don’t get too excited. Flacco isn’t nearly so buff – in fact you might have a difficult time noticing any change at all to Flacco’s real-life physique except perhaps some improved strength in his forearms to create greater wrist snap and ball security.
 

There’s a ton an artist can do to create their intended illusions. Just ask Anita Marks after her spread in Playboy all those years ago…

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About mr._mojo_rizon

Mr. Mojo Rizon is RSR’s answer to The Sporting News’ “Fly” and The Sun’s exiled “Mr. Flip.” If you are familiar with those columns, you’ll get it.  If not, sit back, brace yourself and enjoy.

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