Hating the Steelers…Properly!

Fantasy Hating the Steelers…Properly!

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Football brings some relief to the stresses of life.  Earthquake!  Not that it was that bad, but I thought of Tony Siragusa falling on Rich Gannon all those years ago as my building swayed. Followed up by a hurricane, I was as were many, without power, so not much writing got done.

Let’s not forget the earth shattering media fight among two local sports personalities!  Oh the humanity!

Fantasy leagues are gearing up, the survival pools are filled, and kick-off is right around the corner.  Soon, the annoying themes song “Are you ready for some football?” will be blaring away, I am beyond tired of Hank Williams Junior.  Ever notice the strange similarity between him and Randy Savage?  I think it is the glasses.  But, the chump is a Steelers fan as well.

Pittsburgh week came FAST.  Funny how it has been seen on the message boards and across the net how Steelers players say the Ravens talk too much.  I do not know who’s talking because this team’s talkers have pretty much left the organization, I am sure the collective brain cells there still think Ted Marchibroda is the head coach. Which oft makes me wonder why stupidity is so rampant on that team? 

Hating the Steelers properly, should start out small, as when you were young and just became adapted to the NFL.  Like an acorn, that hate takes root, and if you bleed the right amount of purple, you should have a forest of hate in no time.

Let’s start with their colors the black & gold.  Sorry, much like the Redskins, that is not GOLD.  Want to see gold in the NFL?  Look to the San Francisco 49ers or the New Orleans Saints.  That is gold!  Not urine yellow.  I swear, when I take my multivitamin and use the bathroom at work, it is the only color that matches the Steelers “gold”.  Heinz the corporate sponsor of their stadium, makes more than ketchup, they also makes what?  Mustard!  And mustard is what color?  I think you get the picture.

Next, a logo on one side of the helmet, I thought it was stupid when I was a kid and still think it is stupid today.  But like all things Pittsburgh, the stupidity is ignored, if you need an example, read just about anything James Harrison has ever said.  James Harrison alone could fill my blog with going after the commissioner, the president, even his own quarterback.  If that weren’t enough, Rashard Mendenhall has conspiracy theories on 9/11.  To call him stupid would be an insult to stupid people.  Moron has a meaning and his picture should forever be attached to it.

Let me try and say something nice.  This is hard, but they do have some good players, Troy Polamalu is an example of a good safety and a good guy.  But that is it.  He is good.  The nonsense that he is better than Ed Reed is ridiculous.  Troy plays like a linebacker, but if your quarterback is good enough, he can be exposed in the passing game.  He is still looking the wrong way for Aaron Rodgers!

To be fair, Ed Reed does play a different position, but he needed more than Head & Shoulders the way he was getting toasted last I saw him play.  He might have to push burn ointment at some point.  But clearly last years Super Bowl showed what happens when the refs do not get their payoffs.

As for the fans doesn’t it strike you like most of the fans are bandwagoners? When there was not a team here, I was 49ers fan.  When the Ravens got to town, you man up and support the local team.  I hear the crap people like to use; you know that blanket statement there was no one else around to root for.  Being a Steelers fan in the state of Maryland is like refusing to shower.  People have a damn good reason not to like you.

I really think they should be renamed the Stealers, because they get more gifts then any team I ever saw.  I hope they enjoy that Seahawks Trophy.

I love watching House on Fox.  I imagine Omar Epps as Mike Tomlin and relish when Hugh Laurie calls him an idiot several times over the duration of the program. It really makes the show that much more enjoyable.

Around my house, we go sit on the Bengal, take a Brown, and then wipe our Pittsburgh. 

Enjoy the game, be safe, and even if you see some Steelers fans, give them a little ribbing for me, but stay cool!


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Oliver Kruszka

About Oliver Kruszka

Oliver is a cartographer and GIS analyst for a global energy consulting firm.  When not mapping various aspects of the world, he can be found at the Maryland Renaissance Festival under the surname “Captain Silver” and as a poster here under said name, promoting his brand of humor.
He is an accomplished artist in various mediums, published poet, as well as having a stint acting on stage; additionally brewing beer when not distracted by something shiny.  Lifelong fan of the NFL, who’s allegiances have changed as much as Baltimore’s ability to keep a team, makes him an avid Raven fan, but also a fan of the NFL in general (know thy enemy!). 

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