MOJO’S PICKS: And the NFL’s Crying Game

Flashback Friday MOJO’S PICKS: And the NFL’s Crying Game

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The crying game begins with FOX’ Mike Pereira, the former head honcho of NFL zebras. Apparently Pereira thinks another crybaby, Michael Vick should be fined for comments suggesting that game officials don’t give him the same protective respect that they extend to other quarterbacks.

“I think what [Vick] did was basically throw the 17 referees in the National Football League under the bus and put them in a very difficult position,” Pereira said.  “A referee now based on what Mike said, as far as I’m concerned, is in a lose-lose situation.  If he calls roughing the passer on a hit against Michael Vick, then everybody is going to say that they taunted him into the foul.  If he doesn’t, then they more heap criticism on him based on what Mike said.

“To me, that’s a reason why the league should deal with comments made by players.  But they traditionally don’t.”

Hey Mikey P, if your former comrades just call the game right, no one will care!

Mojo for the record disagrees with Vick. If a quarterback is on the run as often as Vick, he opens himself up to more hits. Maybe if you get rid of the ball a little sooner you might make it through a game without another sidelining boo-boo.

Oh and one more thing for the record – Vick is the most overrated player in the National Football League, BAR NONE!

Joining in on the crying game is Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie who claims that the league’s emphasis on safety for defenseless receivers makes it more dangerous for those defending said receivers.

Ok, so let me get this straight…Anquan Boldin goes over the middle focused on the ball and Cromo has a clear shot at him – that’s dangerous for the Jets corner?

C’mon man!

Cromartie claims that “I tried to change the way I hit him because I didn’t want to get a fine. At the last second, I put my shoulder in too much and went from there.” And the result was a Cromartie rib injury.

Look Cromo-man, Mojo gets that you have so many kids to feed that you don’t even know all their names and that those fines just might enough to jeopardize a round of Happy Meals for those little toddlers. But we’ve seen how accept an invitation to tackle – with all the willingness of a vampire to a sunny party on the beach.

One of Mojo’s favorite all-time players is Walter Payton. Now some dude named Jeff Pearlman who makes a living churning up dirt on people is trying to sour the taste of Sweetness. In a new biography on Payton, Pearlman claims among other things that the Bears Hall-of-Famer abused painkillers after retiring from the NFL, had extramarital affairs, and contemplated suicide.

Asked what he’d like to do to Pearlman, Payton’s former head coach Mike Ditka said, “I’d spit on him! I have no respect for him. “Pathetic.  Despicable.  It serves no purpose.”

Rumors that world renowned spitters Roberto Alomar, Bill Romanowski, Le’Ron McClain and Bill Cowher will join Ditka are unconfirmed as of this writing.

Now, to this week’s picks…

Last week Mojo was once again had a sister kissing weekend, going 8-8 against the spread and that came on the heels of Week 2 when Mojo dialed up a 7-7-2 tally. As for winners Mojo posted an 11-5 mark. Season Totals: Winners (21-11, .656); v. Spread (15-15-2, .500).

Okay, let’s see if Mojo’s lame ass can push the needle into the black this week.

Lions @ Cowboys (-1.5): Those rulers of the jungle are the league’s darlings for the moment and there’s little to suggest that they will not remain undefeated after a visit to Dallas. The Cowboys were sloppy on MNF. Take the points…King Kong is just savoring those Romo spare ribs.

Saints (-7) @ Jaguars: N’Awlins leaves Jacksonhicksville with a “W” but Mojo expects a flat performance and a big ground game from the MJD… Jags keeps it under the number.

49ers @ Eagles (-9): Jim Harbaugh decided to keep his boys in Ohio after beating the Bengals in Cincy last week. They spent the week in Youngstown to avoid 2 consecutive cross country flights in a charter jet. Gee with a reward like Youngstown, where would he have camped had they lost, Three Mile Island? The plan backfires – The Birds win and cover.

Redskins (-2) @ Rams: Rams looked like lambs against the Ravens and we saw very little to expect them to be anything more than sacrificial to those braves on the warpath. But Spagnuolo’s troops have had home cooking 3 of the first 4 weeks of the season and this is the Redskins second consecutive road game after a short week (MNF in Dallas). Going against everything Mojo saw in St. Louie last week, look for the baaaaaaa-sheep to win outright.

Titans @ Browns (-1): Both teams are learning how to win but the Titans are down a play maker and CJ2K looks more like CJ.5K these days. Go with the Dawg Pound to win and cover.

Bills (-3) @ Bengals: Chris Berman can’t get enough of his Ryan Fitzpatrick FatHead hanging on his bedroom wall. All his fawning over Buffalo and the circling of the wagons ends as the brightest head in America (Andy Dalton) dazzles the Bills and hangs their first “L” on them.

Vikings (-2) @ Chiefs: Tamba Hali cracks down on an unsuspecting Donovan McNabb and makes a game changing play. Take the points – the home dog wins outright!

Panthers @ Bears (-6): Carolina is struggling to run the football and if the Bears can make the Panthers one dimensional Cam Newton will make many mistakes in the cow pasture known as Soldier Field. Bears win big!

Steelers @ Texans (-3.5): Pittsburgh just can’t seem to get after the quarterback these days and the Schaub to AJ connection is just too much for the Steelers to handle. That will keep Polamalu away from the line of scrimmage. On the other side, Big Ben will be a bit too twitchy looking for Super Mario whose hits will conjure up flashbacks to that windshield that Ben head-butted a few years ago. Texans win and cover…

Falcons (-4.5) @ Seattle: Let’s see, Ryan outside of dome, on grass in a noisy stadium. Yes the Seahawks are flying more like seagulls these days but the long trek from the ATL to the SEA is enough to make Mojo reach for the points. Dirty Birds win but the osprey cover.

Giants (-1) @ Cardinals: Cardinals are a finesse team and the Giants a power team. But Mojo sees Big Blue coming in flat and looking more like Little Boy Blue. Larry Fitzgerald has a field day against a suspect Giants secondary. Cards win outright.

Dolphins @ Chargers (-7): In the battle of teams that can’t sell out their respective stadiums, home field is of little consequence save the rigors of travel which obviously works against the Fins to the tune of 2,269 miles. Chargers have yet to put together a complete game and Mojo doesn’t think Sunday will be any different. Bolts win but take the points.

Broncos @ Packers (-12.5): The economy is struggling. Fuel prices are whack. The Broncos stink. Yeah, yeah, Any Given Sunday, I get it. But the wild horses would do themselves a favor by staying home. Green Bay boxes up Fox’ troops and sends them packing after a big time spanking. Lay the points.

Patriots (-4) @ Raiders: The Black Hole will be brimming with confidence at kickoff but that will be short-lived. Hoodie comes up with a plan to choke the Raiders rushing attack forcing Jason Campbell to out duel Mr. Bundchen. That’s like asking Albert Haynesworth to outrun Usain Bolt. Newly coifed Brady covers the line.

Jets @ Ravens (-3.5): This little piggy can’t run it; this little piggy gets sacked; and this little piggy said JETS, JETS, JETS lose by more than a touchdown in front of a hostile home crowd at the Big Crabcake.

Colts @ Bucs (-10): Pirates can start swirling rum by halftime. This one is going to be ugly. Let’s Painter the picture for you – Bucs by more than two trips to pay dirt.


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About mr._mojo_rizon

Mr. Mojo Rizon is RSR’s answer to The Sporting News’ “Fly” and The Sun’s exiled “Mr. Flip.” If you are familiar with those columns, you’ll get it.  If not, sit back, brace yourself and enjoy.

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