Editor’s note: This piece is satire, meant to make fun of the callers of Baltimore’s most popular local sports station.
Many of you called me crazy for demanding that we trade for Tyrod Taylor last week. I’m beginning to come around to your line of thinking after this week. I was crazy. The Ravens don’t miss Tyrod Taylor at all. Sure, Tyrod is a definite upgrade over Joe Flacco. But after one game, it doesn’t look like he would be an upgrade over Matt Schaub.
There was one play yesterday that proves that they are much better off with Matt Schaub as their quarterback, both now and in the future. In the middle of the 3rd quarter, Matt Schaub’s genius was on full display for the world to see.
It was marvelous, really. The Ravens’ offense knew that it could move the ball against the Browns, and they had the ball too far up the field at their own 36. They knew that their defense needed a longer rest than a touchdown drive there would have gotten them. So Matt Schaub throws a pick-six to push the offense back so that they stay on the field a little bit longer. Running all that way down the field really tires the defense, too. It’s a risk-reward proposition, and Schaub came out on the winning side of it. The defense opened up on the next drive, and Schaub threw a touchdown that took the lead.
The throw itself was equally as impressive as the decision. It wasn’t even close to Kamar Aiken, and it somehow found itself in the area of two separate defenders. A Browns player even got mad that Karlos Dansby caught the ball instead of him. They were falling right into his trap. I have no idea how he got those defenders to be in that area when the receiver was running to the middle of the field, but Matt Schaub pulled it off.
He wasn’t done with just that play. Later in the game, he threw what looked like a terrible pass (beginning to see a theme here?) that was intercepted by a Browns player. I can’t remember his name. That play set the Browns up in position for what they thought would be the winning field goal. But Schaub knew that Brent Urban was gonna get one of those big paws up there to block the kick. Urban spent some time swatting down Matt Schaub passes in training camp, so the real Matty Ice knows just how good Urban is at it. It was the best chance for a win, and I applaud Schaub for recognizing it.
And he also knew because he studies film, unlike Flacco, that the Browns kicker can’t kick long field goals. He hasn’t attempted one all year, I heard the announcers say. That kind of veteran savvy is exactly what the Ravens need. We need a quarterback who isn’t afraid to give the ball to the opposing offense and let the defense and special teams do their job. That is a real teammate, unlike Flacco who only tries to score touchdowns for himself.
All I know is that after just one game, Matt Schaub’s interception tactics are undefeated this season. The same couldn’t be said about Joe Flacco at any point in 2015. These aren’t opinions. These are facts, ladies and gentlemen. And the fact might just be that the Ravens are better off signing Schaub to a new contract than Joe Flacco, especially with Marc Trestman throwing 600 times a game.
The Ravens Should Have Lost on Purpose
Back when they had Joe Flacco, the Ravens didn’t have to try to lose. Now that Matt Schaub has taken the field, they’re gonna start winning again, and that is a huge problem for the future of the team. Take a look at some of the teams that have beat the Ravens this season: the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Oakland Raiders, and the Cleveland Browns earlier in the year. They all have one thing in common: they all pick in the top 10 all the time. That can’t be a coincidence.
Updated draft order as of Week 12. pic.twitter.com/RgqQhz1cSE
— Matt Miller (@nfldraftscout) December 1, 2015
The bottom line is if you’re not first, you’re last, and the Ravens sure aren’t gonna be first this year with how poor of a start Flacco gave this team.
The Ravens need to get back to their losing ways in order to have any shot at winning in the future. Maybe they should experiment with the Wildcat the rest of the season or something to make it happen.
