Trent Green <3 Mallet & the Ravens

TV Geek Trent Green <3 Mallet & the Ravens

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I’m still smirking ear to ear about Sunday’s win against the Steelers (I’m also still waiting for a now-recluse Steelers fan coworker to come back to the office for some humble pie).

Sure, the win bumped the Ravens further down the draft order and sure, they can’t possibly make the playoffs. But beating Pittsburgh TWICE during a losing season AND dropping them down to the 7th seed where they’ll be praying for former Ravens Tyrod Taylor and Rex Ryan to upset the Jets to get the Steelers into that 6th seed?

Larry Funny

So what exactly propelled the Ravens to this win? Personally, I think it was the threat of having to wear the Poupon Pants again. But if you ask Trent Green? It was 100% the doing of Ryan Mallet and his golden arm.

Ryan Mallet

If you really sat back and listened to that broadcast, you’d realize that Green rode the jock strap of Ryan Mallet ALL. DAY. LONG. It was bad. Like borderline Swimfan bad. So bad that I suspect Green has been calling our local sport talk radio suggesting we cut Joe Flacco and start Mallet in 2016. Bad to the point that I’m afraid that searching Twitter for a Ryan Mallet fan club would only lead to finding Trent Green listed as the President.

I think the point has been sufficiently driven home.

We all know Mallet’s history- backed up Brady in New England, came down to Houston to play in a couple games over two seasons, got tossed to the curb by the Texans for (allegedly) being late for meetings, and a month or so later? Mallet’s rocking the black Ravens jersey and becoming the team’s 4th starting QB this season.

But despite the roller coaster ride that has been Mallet’s abbreviated career in the NFL, Green talked this kid up like he’s a veteran player, a guy who has potential to be a great leader, and possibly has some interest in adopting Mallet as his son (he didn’t spell it out per se, but I can read between the lines).

Green started early by defending Mallet’s penalty for Intentional Grounding.

I think Javorious Allen is in the vicinity there. He tries to chop Will Allen & the throw goes in that direction. I know he’s not trying to make that completion, but the throw is in the area.”

A little defense on a questionable call? That’s cool. We can appreciate that in Baltimore since most broadcast crews just agree with the officials and move on.

Trent follows that up by dropping a ‘great pass by Mallet’ here and a ‘good play by Mallet’ there, but then really kicks the brown-nosing into high gear:

“Let me tell you Greg, this is a different Ryan Mallet than we saw earlier this season when we saw him start for the Texans. He just seems more confident and under control, more in command… And it’s really amazing when you think about it, and we’ve said it several times that Mallet’s only been here 12 days. Sometimes when you simplify things down as an offense and dial in on the specific plays that you’re good at and you feel comfortable with, you can execute the way they are.”

And then there’s this:

“Well this is one of the things people talk about when describing Ryan Mallet’s game. And that is his arm strength. His ability to fire the football into tight spaces and tight windows.”

More defending Mallet on a deep ball that was nearly picked off:

“And this is okay. You understand as a quarterback and an offensive coordinator that you need to stretch the field…  Sometimes whether it’s incomplete or not, you just need to throw it up the field to let the defense know you’re willing to push the ball up the field to loosen things up for those underneath throws.”

Into the 4th quarter Green continued to preach about the greatness that is Ryan Mallet:

“Getting back to Mallet: it’s impressive…and you wonder…you know he keeps getting chances. So he was in New England, and got an opportunity in Houston and got released down there, and now he’s getting an opportunity here with two games to go in the season for the Ravens. When you possess an arm like that. When you can make a throw like that, there’s guys even playing today who can’t make that throw! So if he can get the other stuff figured out, get the mental part figured out, get through the progressions… he’s got so much talent that’s why…”

At that point the crowd erupted after Mallet hit Juice in stride down the sideline for a 34-yard gain down to the three-yard line. Greg Gumble cut Green off to make the call, but I swear if you listen closely? You can hear Trent getting choked up like a preteen girl at a Justin Bieber concert (or whatever boy band group is cool today, I don’t care enough to pay attention) rendering him speechless and unable to finish his thought.

And here’s something strange- Green ALSO complimented the Ravens coordinators in this game! SERIOUSLY!

Green on Trestman:

“Really, Mark Trestman doing a good job with the play calling getting Mallet to get the ball out of his hands quickly.”

Green on Pees:

“Dean Pees has put together a heck of a game plan. We talked about Mark Trestman and what’s done for Ryan Mallet. But this defense, knowing the way the Steelers like to push the ball up the field, the game plan and the way Dean Pees has been calling things is really keeping them in check to this point.”

Those things happened. Trent Green said it, and it was like 90% true (I refuse to give the two coordinators full credit since their lack of consistency in the play calling department all season has been suspect at best).

Not that Green has ever played for Baltimore but… could it be? Did we finally find our homer?! Will Trent Green be to the Ravens what Cris Collinsworst is to the Bengals? Or what Terry Bradshaw and Bill Cowher are to the Steelers? Or what nobody is or will ever be for the Browns?

I sure hope so…



So this caught my eye earlier in the game.

Cheer Sign

To the untrained eye, this sign appears to be nothing more than instruction for the cheerleaders on the sideline.

In reality? This is actually Buck Allen’s TD celebration dance steps.

That Swedish Swing. Gets me every time…

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Adam Bonaccorsi

About Adam Bonaccorsi

Known by his fellow 227ers at M&T Bank Stadium as “Are You Kidding Me?” Adam is a vocal and opinionated Baltimore sports fans, who appreciates thinking outside of the box and offering far-fetched perspectives that tend to leave readers left wondering ‘what if?’ or sometimes ‘seriously bro?’ and occasionally, ‘I’ll have what he’s drinking!’ Or just 4-letter expletive-laden responses. Those are the best.

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