Top Ravens Fan Triggers

The Fanimal Top Ravens Fan Triggers

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Nothing can spark a social media sports debate like your basic trigger statement.

In Bahstan, it’s any reference to cheating (hell, if you mention the front gate on their yard they lose their cool).

In DC, it’s mocking their owner, team name, Bruce Allen jokes, RG-Knee draft day trade and subsequent lol-worthy career… wow. They have a TON of source material.

In Cleveland it’s… honestly? Can you trigger a Browns fan? I think they’re so beaten down at this point that nothing can phase them, really…

But here in Baltimore, our Ravens fanbase has our very own triggers. Those little quips by trolls on social media to rile you up, regardless of whether or not it’s a truth or an utter joke of a fallacy, can be the onset of an absolute meltdown by the most even-tempered fan.

Let’s take a look at the cream of the crop crap.

“Ray Lewis blah blah blah murder.”

Most freakin’ tiresome line, and you’d think opposing fans would work on some new source material but nah… too much effort required for that.

Alas, the decade-plus old story about the former-Ravens ILB/current Ring of Honor member/future Hall of Famer/generally regarded GOAT still finds it’s way into any conversation about the Ravens defensive dominance in the early 2000’s. Never mind trivial things like, I don’t know, facts? Evidence?

Bet most of those spewing the Ray Lewis hate also adamantly believe OJ was innocent too…

(please note the irony in the Mulder gif. The ‘I want to belive’ poster is very fitting for the trolls who want to believe Lewis is guilty)

 “SIX!”

via GIPHY

Sweet baby Jesus, this one never gets old.

The Ravens can beat the Steelers- I mean absolutely trounce them- and the only fall back Steelers fans have? “Hey buddy… count my rings!”

First of all? THEY AREN’T YOUR RINGS!

More so, those fans dropping that line always tend to forget 1) how much longer the Steelers have been a franchise than the Ravens, 2) which team has won the Super Bowl most recently, 3) that they weren’t even alive when the Steelers won their first four (basically, all millennials can shut their trap), and 4) if we’re counting OLD crap, Baltimore has some more rings to add to the list as well.

Just lock it up kid, and go play with your mustard napkin…


“Flacco’s contract ruined the Ravens!”

While I think any objective fan can definitively say that Joe Flacco is not living up to the expectations of his contract, the fallacy that his contract ruined the team is so beyond far-fetched.

Remember when Flacco had a $16M cap hit the first year of his post-Super Bowl contract? What about when his cap number got to a whopping $28M??

Of course you don’t remember the second thing ($28M) because it never happened! Instead, the duo of Flacco & Joe Linta worked on an extension of the contract, allowing the Ravens to lower his cap hit, while extending Flacco’s contract at the same time.

I mean, instead we could look at things like failing & ineffective draft picks, other teams overpaying Ravens free agents, Eugene Monroe’s retirement, Ray Rice’s ousting, etc. as reason the Ravens turned the wrong corner.

But hey! That’s far too logical of an excuse! Must be all Joe’s fault!

(I won’t even get into the chicken/egg argument that comes with a QB/offensive line/OC/skill position players)

 “Baltimore stole the Browns!”

Remember when Baltimore didn’t have a team after the Colts left in the middle of the night? Remember in 1993, when then-NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue told football-hangry Baltimore to build a museum?

Also, remember when the city of Cleveland royally screwed Art Modell, refused to pony up to help build a new stadium in place of the run-down hunk-a-junk they had at the time, and basically told him to deal with it? (yes, there’s plenty more to it than that, go play on the Googles if you feel so inclined).

Ultimately, the city of Baltimore made an offer that Art Modell couldn’t refuse. They didn’t steal the team, they just gave the owner what he desired instead of holding him hostage. And despite every last ditch effort by Cleveland to keep Modell around against his best wishes, much like [insert any relationship of any Kardashian]?

The Ravens entered the fray.

And won a Super Bowl in a few short years.

Also, my general thoughts on the Browns franchise…

Oh Louis C.K… you get me at so many levels…


Basically any reference to Brady/Belichick/Patriots

Cundiffed. Lee Evans drop. Eligible/ineligible reporting. Julian Edelman TD passes. Ravens defense blowing multiple 4th quarter leads in the playoffs.

It’s all frustrating. Infuriating. The things nightmares are made of, and the things that drive a man into a straight jacket in a padded cell at Sheppard Pratt.

Despite keeping Tom Brady at bay (for the most part, at least) the Patriots may as well change their name to the New England Poachers, as they are constantly killing the Ravens & their fans with their late game drives to take leads, sneaky antics, and general Ravens misfortune.

I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I feel the rage coming on…


Just missed the cut: Ray Rice comments from Bengals fans, any use of the word ‘Ratbird,’ terrible towels, Matt Ryan comparisons.

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Adam Bonaccorsi

About Adam Bonaccorsi

Known by his fellow 227ers at M&T Bank Stadium as “Are You Kidding Me?” Adam is a vocal and opinionated Baltimore sports fans, who appreciates thinking outside of the box and offering far-fetched perspectives that tend to leave readers left wondering ‘what if?’ or sometimes ‘seriously bro?’ and occasionally, ‘I’ll have what he’s drinking!’ Or just 4-letter expletive-laden responses. Those are the best.

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