Dedes and Archulet-ugh

TV Geek Dedes and Archulet-ugh

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Week 1 of the regular season and the Ravens get shafted on the CBS Broadcast Booth team right out of the gates!

With the Tony Romo Effect” taking it’s toll on the 2017 lineups, there’s been quite the shakeup in pairings, including the #6 team on the call for the Ravens/Bengals season opener, Spero Dedes and Adam Archuleta.

This Dedes/Archuleta pairing is so bad that, according to CBS sports, the only teams worse are Tom McCarthy & the Steves (Tasker/Beuerlein), and Beth Mowins & Jay Feely (who have never called a game before 2017).

Side note: CBS Sports fails to mention sideline reporter Melanie Collins on their listings. Nice job, guys!

This duo is so awful, in a recent SI NFL Broadcaster power ranking, Jimmy Traina ranked Dedes/Archuleta 13th out of 16, saying “Nothing against Spero Dedes, but he’s the announcer who, when you see him doing the intro to his game each Sunday, you know it’s going to be a pig.”

And a pig is exactly what we got.

Sure, the 20-0 win was huge for the Baltimore Ravens, especially considering it was a road win against an AFC North rival, but the broadcast itself left fans of the game nothing short of bored, confused, and frustrated.

In regards to this specific broadcast team, I’d like to throw out a rare compliment – specifically on the St. Jude’s pins – as worn below by Melanie Collins, who honestly was the best part of this team with very concise reports from the sidelines, and even name dropping Romo to add a little credibility to an otherwise lackluster team.


Now, back to your regularly scheduled gripe-session.

My biggest gripe throughout the game, and worth addressing immediately, was the lack of replay in crucial moments.

Sure, the pairing was able to show twelve different angles of Danny Woodhead‘s hammy injury, but beyond that? Nothing received more than the initial look for other crucial moments in the game. We never saw an up-close look of CJ Mosley’s face masking penalty against Andy Dalton on the 3rd-and-short push up the gut early in the game, nor did we see a replay of Za’Darius Smith‘s leg injury, despite the fact that they went to commercial and had ample time to review tape to get the necessary footage, just as they did for Woodhead’s injury following the field goal/TV timeout before the ensuing kickoff.

Then there was the Dalton interception (which one, amirite??) on a tipped ball that was nabbed and returned inside the 5 yard line by Lardarius Webb. Immediately following that play, Webb got tangled up in the end zone with Bengals DE Carlos Dunlap, and had the officials step in to separate the bunch before any flags were thrown.

Surely we’d get a replay of that fiasco right?

The Dedes/Archuleta pair just kept on trucking…

The only thing worse than the lack of replay was Archuleta’s commentary. He made sure to chime in frequently, often saying the most absurd things possible, and in some instances, the play on the field made him seem downright unintelligible. Here’s Archuleta on Danny Woodhead:

“Something tells me, and remember they’re missing Steve Smith Sr and Dennis Pitta, something tells me Danny Woodhead is going to be a big part of this offense.”

Immediately following this comment – like, the very next snap – Woodhead goes down with the hammy pull. So much for that bold prediction.

How about the former Rams safety on Bengals rookie RB Joe Mixon:

“The one thing they were impressed with, with Joe Mixon coming in, is how smart he was.”

I’m sorry, smart? You cannot seriously be calling Mixon smart after he punched a woman in the face at a bar during his time at OU… inexcusable.

How about some basic math, AA?

“See this is what you don’t want to see. Every member of the Ravens front 7 on the line.”

If a front 7 on defense is all ‘on the line’ then how many players are on the line? Correct! 7! Except it was only 4 players on the line rushing Dalton. And what’s worse? Archuleta even circled the 4 players and called it 7…

Ok, one more – A.A. on the Bengals offense:

“You really get the sense after talking to him [Andy Dalton] in our meetings that there’s a lot of excitement around this offense. He’s going to have a full complement of weapons… they feel really good about how the offense is starting this season.”

Wow. Could not have been any more wrong here.

And honestly, this was just the tip of the iceberg, as Dedes and Archuleta spent the better part of the first half playing Dalton-apologists, constantly turning the narrative into ‘well he didn’t have Eifert all season, and lost this guy, or that guy’ culminating with Archuleta saying “I pity the QB who doesn’t have A.J. Green for the final part of the season…'”

1 – So there’s like 31 or so other teams that actually don’t have A.J. Green for the final part of the year. Actually any part of the year.

2 – Have you seen the makeshift Ravens receiving corps, who have never had anything close to an A.J. Green??

The Dedes/Archuleta pairing is just awful. I’d like to hope we never see them again, but I’m a realist. CBS always gives the Ravens awful pairings. We’ll be lucky to see Romo at all this season (who I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about in the booth) and we’ll be stuck with this clown car for the better part of 2017.


Quote of the Game

I saved one final Adam Archuleta quote, because it’s just too good to pass up.

“West, like we said, is pretty thick downstairs.” 

Image of the Game

So typically, people see empty stadiums and think ‘must have been right after halftime,’ right?


Yea, no. This was the start of the 2nd quarter in a 3-0 game. The jungle is barren. The fans clearly didn’t have the same expectations as Dedes & Archuleta for this Bengals offense.

Also, they played Demi Lovato a whole lot.

So there’s that.

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Adam Bonaccorsi

About Adam Bonaccorsi

Living on the farce-side of Baltimore sports, Adam spends his time focusing on the satirical nature of our local teams- conveniently, sometimes the narrative writes itself! He's not one to shy away from controversial opinions, speaking his mind, or dropping a truth bomb into the Purple Kool Aid. More from Adam Bonaccorsi


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