SmackTalk: Ravens WILL Roast Raiders

Street Talk SmackTalk: Ravens WILL Roast Raiders

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Let’s be honest, Ravens fans. It’s been a brutal few weeks.

Sure, we can blame Joe Flacco…

Or Marty Mornhinweg & Dean Pees…

Or John Harbaugh for projecting spores from his plague onto the other coaches...

Yanno what? Let’s go ahead and blame all them. It’s warranted.

But regardless of the catalysts during this two-game skid that has Sunday alcohol sales way up around Baltimore, I believe this is the week the Ravens get back in the win column.



First, let’s talk the Derek Carr saga.

Yes, he has a back injury. Yes, he did practice at the end of this week (in limited capacity) and yes, the Raiders did list him as questionable. But you’re missing 2 major facts:

  1. Even with Carr, the Raiders are 21st in the NFL in pass ypg, barely at 200 yards.
  2. This happened.

Apparently it was all a joke, as an advertisement for some bank. Cool… except it’s still awful. It makes the Joe Flacco “Flaccolicious? That just makes me sound crazy.” Papa Johns commercials look like pure GOLD.

It makes me long for the Jonathan Ogden GEBCO commercials.

Speaking of offensive linemen, expect the Raiders OL to be on their heels today.

No, seriously. 

Think about this: Pees is one craptastic game away from a pink slip. I don’t think anybody can deny that (Ed Note: I deny that. Pees is teflon.). So why would he not go balls-to-the-walls with this game?

Answer: because he’s Dean Pees

Fair, but his coaching impacts Harbaugh who, as far as I’d assume, is interested in maintaining his job beyond 2017.

Pees will be throwing the kitchen sink at EJ Manuel in this game. He may get burned a few times, but it’ll be more effective than not, leading to 3 turnovers on the day.

Flipping the field, Khalil Mack would like to feast on Joe Flacco all day long. He’ll surely make a snack out of him with occasional pressure, but Flacco won’t be owned in this game.

Why not?

Because Mornhinweg is getting relieved of his duties by halftime, and Greg Roman is going to take over.


Roman is going to corral the offensive troops and drop a “remember everything Marty taught you? Forget it!”

We’ll actually see a commitment to the run game, short passes as an extension of the run game, which opens up a deep game and- you won’t believe me until you see it- a successful deep ball from Joe Flacco!

Warm and fuzzy yet? No? How about some more fun stats to turn you into believers!

-The Ravens defense may be suspect on the road, but Oakland is only allowing 0.2 ppg less than Baltimore. 

-Ravens have 9 interceptions. Oakland? BIG FAT ZERO.

-The Ravens are 2nd in the NFL in completion % against their defense. The Raiders meanwhile, are 26th. 

Marshawn Lynch‘s celly’s are not that great. This is a fact.

-The Ravens aren’t leaving Baltimore anytime soon. Meanwhile the Raiders… well, sorry Oakland!

Let’s all just relax, soak in the pregame booze & wings, while we sit back at 4 pm and watch the Ravens return to their former greatness against a ‘meh’ Raiders team!

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Adam Bonaccorsi

About Adam Bonaccorsi

Living on the farce-side of Baltimore sports, Adam spends his time focusing on the satirical nature of our local teams- conveniently, sometimes the narrative writes itself! He’s not one to shy away from controversial opinions, speaking his mind, or dropping a truth bomb into the Purple Kool Aid.

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