It’s Scary Being a Ravens Fan

Street Talk It’s Scary Being a Ravens Fan

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Two-Minute Drill: Week 8

Ah, that’s more like it!

Last week around the NFL was the first time this season that everything felt right. No crazy wins by bottom-feeder teams, no injuries to crucial players (unless you consider Dan Bailey crucial), and all was right for one NFL weekend…

Well, except the Ravens’ return to subpar play, and a corresponding top-10 projected pick in the 2018 draft down in Jerrah’s World.

Quick hits from Week 7:

-The Browns were beating the Titans… then they lost. Back to back weeks they should’ve… could’ve… didn’t. You can’t convince me it’s not a tank job any longer…

-The Jets were beating the Fins… then they lost. Matt Moore stepped up for Jay Cutler‘s cracked cage, threw a pair of TD, won the game, and starts tonight against Baltimore. FUN.

-The Broncos were shut out for the first time since their current QB Trevor Siemian was but a glisten in his father’s eye (25 years).

-Packers QB Brent Hundley is no Aaron Rodgers. Or Brett Favre. Or even Matt Flynn.

-Zeke Elliott must have struck a deal with Jed York, because it looks like he officially owns the 49ers. 219 yards, 3 TD?! I’d kill for that overall in a Ravens game…

Last Week: Tucker 10, Flacco 6, Vikes 23

Well, here we are again folks. The wrong side of a lopsided game- and don’t let the score fool you!

Even though the Ravens got within 7, it was a chump change TD pass with an expiring clock to keep it from looking worse.

Seriously, where would this team even be without Justin Tucker? Could we score any points this season?

Unfortunately, the entire offense is too much of a hot mess to fix at this juncture in the season. It simply is what it is…

Can’t really put full fault on Joe for this one after losing Breshad Perriman, Jeremy Maclin and Mike Wallace to injury. He’s no (gulp) Brady…

Keeping Joe upright would be a big help too, but this injury plagued O-Line doesn’t seem to grasp that concept too well.

Alas, this is our Ravens offense for the foreseeable future. No time to throw, no pocket awareness, & injuries decimating the team.

Griff Whalen was the leading receiver on Sunday. That should say enough about the current state of the Ravens offense.

Although, we’ve had similar complaints earlier this season, only to see the team step up in Oakland and put up some points…

I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing that tonight on short rest with a large chunk of the roster listed as doubtful or questionable, but who knows?

Nevertheless, here’s to hoping for some positive change and a positive result!


This Week- Fins @ Ravens

Ravens Dolphins Game Preview

A rare Thursday Night Football game in Baltimore!

I would talk about the Ravens record on TNF, or home prime time games, or in the month of October following consecutive losses… except I won’t because all of that stats are idiotic, have zero effect on this game or the current version of the Ravens, and I’ll simply leave that for the clowns at ESPN Stats & Info.

Remember kids – you can always make a statistic say whatever you want it to say without telling the full story!

Back to this game… so we know exactly what to expect from these Ravens at this juncture in the season. Three wins, 4 losses, 2 of those wins coming against bottom-5 NFL teams, and the other in Oakland I am now fully convinced was a fluke since we haven’t seen a single game prior to or since then reflecting similar play.

The injury report looks even more promising this week for Baltimore:

OUT- T West, Maxx Williams

DOUBTFUL- Camp (shocker!), Tim Williams, Chris Matthews

QUESTIONABLE- Jeremy Maclin, Breshad Perriman, Mike Wallace, Ben Watson, Matt Skura, Eric Weddle, Tony Jefferson, Anthony Levine Sr, Patrick Onwuasor, Jimmy Smith, T Sizzle, Matt Skura

HOLY S**T.

So that would be your top 4 wide receivers, both starting safeties, a starting offensive lineman, top cornerback, top pass rusher, and 2 guys named Williams.

Here’s a scary quote via Garrett Downing of BaltimoreRavens.com

“The only fully healthy receiver on the roster is Griff Whalen, who the Ravens signed less than a week ago.”

Sure, half of the questionable players will play, but at what capacity? Can they maintain all game long or will they end up like the rest of the Ravens?

On the flip side, you have the Dolphins led by Matt Moore. Moore is scarier than Smokin’ Jay Cutler. At least with Cutler you can expect a pick or two, but Moore will manage the game and has the ability to do damage downfield as well.

Honestly, any QB should scare this Ravens defense, as long as they have a decent running back and a serviceable O Line- which Miami does.

PREDICTION:

I’ll keep it simple- Miami will follow every team’s gameplan against Baltimore.

They know the Ravens can’t score, nor can they stop the run.

On offense, Miami will spend the evening handing off to Jay Ajayi, who will rack up 150 yards on the ground and 2 scores. Every so often, you’ll see Matt Moore toss a ball up – likely targeting Lardarius Webb, and rightfully so – but the Fins offense will be focused around running the ball, running clock, and getting out of Baltimore with a win.

I’m going to call a 75-25 ratio for run-pass for Miami in this game.

The Ravens will do what they always do, and go with a 25-75 run-pass ratio, despite having literally no healthy receivers.

Buck Allen will be the top target for Flacco, and he may break 100 total yards in this game, but that’ll be the lone bright spot on offense.

Alex Collins will lose a fumble for the first time in ages and people will reissue their gripes about ball security, while giving John Harbaugh a new scapegoat for offensive ineptitude to divert attention from Marty Mornhinweg.

Back to Joe – it’ll be a tough night. Four sacks, 2 interceptions, maybe another chump change TD late to pad stats, but this game will never be close, much like last week.

The team will be 3-5 by midnight tonight, but Marty and Pees will both still have jobs come sunrise.

Also, I’ll continue to pump my #MayfieldPatricia2018 narrative with every passing brutal loss.

MIA-27

BAL-13


 Rest of the Slate

With the Ravens taking on the Dolphins Thursday night, your weekend slate is wiiiiide open for the rest of the league! Here’s the best of the rest.

Colts @ Bengals Sun 10/29 @ 1pm– This game won’t be a good one, but it sure as hell should make us feel better about our team here in Baltimore!

Cowboys @ Skins Sun 10/29 @ 4:25pm– An NFL classic rival pitting two of the most hated in the NFL against each other. No, I’m not talking about the Skins & the Cowboys, I’m talking about Jerry Jones & Dan Snyder. Two of the biggest doofus owners in the league. One thinks he owns the NFL and the other is quietly pleased with all of the NFL distractions around the kneeling because it distracts from the controversy over the team name. Idiots…

Broncos @ Chiefs Mon 10/30 @ 8:25pm– the Broncos are skidding, the Chiefs are too, and something has to give. The Broncos defense is built to stuff the potential Rookie of the Year Kareem Hunt, but their offense is barely built to stop a strong breeze (also see Ravens offense for comp). It’ll either be a great game… or a really boring 3-6 ordeal.


Rank Em!

Halloween season is upon us, which means 1) running through neighborhoods, swarmed by kids complaining about tired legs but also not wanting to stop trick or treating, 2) going to parties where half of the room tried to take the most humdrum occupations and turn them into something a little more promiscuous, or 3) laughing at people who get scared in haunted houses.

Let’s take the latter factor into consideration- FEAR.

Edgar Allan Poe gave the team its name, and wrote some truly terrifying stories during his time in this mortal coil, but his ghouls and knocks upon his chamber door had nothing on the current state of the Baltimore football team.

Top 5 Scariest Things About Being A Ravens Fan

5-SIZZLE IS SO CLOSE TO RETIREMENT, LEAVING THE RAVENS WITH NO EMOTIONAL LEADER IN THE LOCKER ROOM!!!

4-OZZIE NEWSOME STILL CAN’T DRAFT TO SAVE HIS JOB- EXCEPT HIS JOB IS ETERNALLY SAFE!!!

3- JOE FLACCO IS ON THE BOOKS FOR AT LEAST 2 MORE YEARS!!!

2- THE RAVENS DON’T HAVE A SINGLE TALENTED YOUNG RECEIVER OR TIGHT END ON THE ROSTER WORTH KEEPING AROUND!!!

1-NO MATTER HOW INEFFECTIVELY HORRENDOUS THE TEAM GETS, NO COACHES WILL BE FIRED BECAUSE BISCIOTTI WON’T PULL THE TRIGGER!!!

Terrified yet?

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Adam Bonaccorsi

About Adam Bonaccorsi

Known by his fellow 227ers at M&T Bank Stadium as “Are You Kidding Me?” Adam is a vocal and opinionated Baltimore sports fans, who appreciates thinking outside of the box and offering far-fetched perspectives that tend to leave readers left wondering ‘what if?’ or sometimes 'seriously bro?' and occasionally, 'I'll have what he's drinking!' Or just 4-letter expletive-laden responses. Those are the best. More from Adam Bonaccorsi

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