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Who to Root For: The Final Four

Thank you, Blake Bortles!
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Before we get into this week’s ‘Who To Root For,’ and give Ravens fans some justification for cheering on a non-Baltimore based football team, I need to take a quick second to thank someone very near & dear to me…

I cannot express to you how appreciative I am of Blake Bortles & the entire Jacksonville Jaguars team for going up to Pittsburgh last weekend and hanging an L on the Steelers at home! Not only did it knock them out of the playoffs, but in the week following the loss:

-Big Ben called out the coaching (again)

Le’Veon Bell has threatened to sit out or retire if he’s slapped with the tag again/Steelers said tag is coming

-OG David DeCastro called out his teammates for ‘stupid’ obsession with Patriots

-OC Todd Haley is out/not renewed/essentially axed (apparently he gave up 75 points to the Jags in their 2 meetings in Pittsburgh this season?)

Mike Mitchell looks like an idiot with his ‘playing Patriots in hell/Haiti/New England’ comments

It’s been one hell of a week for the Yinzers and here’s to hoping it only gets better… like, better for us so… worse for them, I suppose.

With those dirtbags out, we’re set up for a relatively stress-free weekend of Championship Games! Since our beloved Ravens are out of the picture, there isn’t much more a purple-clad fan could ask for. This page has the run down for betting on the NFL, should you want to add a little more excitement to your viewing experience.

On to the games!


Jacksonville Jaguars @ New England Patriots

Sunday, January 21st at 3:05pm

(Line: NE -8.5, O/U 46)

AFCC ALTERNATE NAME: “The Coughlin Curse” as the former Giants head coach/current Jags Executive VP has two Super Bowl victories at New England’s expense, and will be looking for the trifecta of knocking Bill Belichick out once again.

I gotta admit, this is much easier to pick this week than I was thinking it would be, had the Steelers not imploded last week. I mean, picking between the Patriots and the Steelers is like picking between getting a prostate exam or getting a colonoscopy.

Both are a pain in the ass.

Thank you for agreeing, Super Bowl LII Halftime Show performer, Justin Timberlake.

But more on this match-up to determine the AFC Champs…

New England comes into Sunday 2nd in passing offense, 10th rushing offense, and 2nd in points per game. They’ll be facing the Jags, with the top passing defense, 21strushing defense, and 2nd scoring defense.

Put that stat down, flip it, and reverse it.

(That’s Missy Elliott, if you don’t know that, I can’t help you in life).

The Jags are 17th in passing offense, lead the league in rushing offense, and were 5th in points per game. The Chowdah Heads up north are 30th in passing defense, and 20th in rushing defense BUT… 5th in points allowed per game?

I can’t predict the outcome if I tried…

WTRF: seriously…

YES I AM USING A SAD “BA-LA-KE” PICTURE BECAUSE I USED IT LAST WEEK AND THEY WON!

Of course we’re rooting for the Jags, or more so, against the Patriots! As far as I’m concerned, I want to see the worst month of football that New England fans have experienced in ages. It’ll go something like this:

-Pats lose to Jags in embarrassing blowout that has the stadium emptied by the 4th quarter.

-Josh McDaniels immediately flies to Indy and signs his deal as new HC of the Colts.

-Matt Patricia immediately flies to Detroit and signs his deal as new HC of the Lions.

Tom Brady retires/starts writing a tell-all book of his time in New England.

-Bill Belichick wears a hoodie with sleeves and everybody panics.

-After seeing the report on New Zealand, it becomes illegal to steam lobster in Massachusetts (it’s seriously illegal in NZ).

I also call BS on the media members who think the ratings will dip if the Patriots aren’t in the Super Bowl. Quite frankly? I say they’ll go UP! Everybody is tired of the same teams in it every single year. We want something new. Something fresh. I honestly think watching the Jags will drum up more interest than watching Brady cry, Belichick show no emotion, and Gronk slamming beer cans against his forehead on the sideline while hitting on the ladies in the stands.

The Ravens embarrassing ass-whooping in London be damned, WE’RE ALL IN WITH YOU SACKSONVILLE!


Minnesota Vikings @ Philadelphia Eagles

Sunday, January 23rd @ 6:40pm

(Line: MIN -3, O/U 39)

NFCC ALTERNATE NAME: “The Jeff Fisher Bowl” since he’s inevitably going to take credit for developing both of these QB’s while with the LA Rams.

Two Defensive Goliaths go head to head… figuratively, not literally, but you get the point.

The Vikings come into Sunday riding high after what has been dubbed the Minneapolis Miracle, a game that culminated in a Stefon Diggs (he a Terp!) touchdown catch as the clocked ticked to 0:00, leading the Vikings to a surreal victory that will surely go down in the history books, and instantly reminded every Ravens fan of our own “Miracle” divisional playoff win.

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The Eagles are riding high, as they continue to bleed the ‘underdog’ narrative that was slapped on them following the loss of star QB Carson Wentz, who was replaced by once-good-now-journeyman signal caller Nick Foles. The Eagles eeked out a close one last weekend with a 15-10 win over Matt Ryan and the Falcons (LOL).

So who gets their bubble burst come Sunday?

To say these 2 defenses are scary good is no joke: Philly ranks 1st in rushing yards allowed per game, and 4th in points allowed per game, while Minnesota ranks 2nd in rushing yards allowed, and 1st in points allowed.

Where the 2 teams differ? Passing defense and takeaways.

While the Vikings bring the 2nd ranked passing defense into Sunday’s matchup, the Eagles’ 17th ranked pass D poses less of a threat to Case Keenum, Stefon Diggs, Kyle Rudolph & Adam Theilen. As for turnovers, it’s the opposite narrative: the Eagles 31 takeaways are good for 4th in the NFL, but the Vikings 19 ranks 21st in the regular season.

WTRF: SKOL

Last week I suggested Baltimore fans pull for the Vikings as our NFC brethren in purple, because I want to see a home team hosting the Super Bowl, and because they have everything we ever wanted: a strong defense, a serviceable quarterback, and actual weapons on offense (Ozzie must have nightmares about Diggs).

This week? All of the same, except one new addition to the table:

NOBODY LIKES EAGLES FANS.

Full disclosure: I only rooted for the Eagles last week because I hate Matt Ryan’s smug face and the nauseating narrative that he’s so phenomenal/better than Flacco, while disregarding the fact that he’s had Julio Jones for eons, then Roddy White and Tony Gonzalez to start his career, and even Mohammed Sanu would be a #1 on the Ravens in 2017.

But this is about the Eagles, and the obnoxious Philly Phanbase.

Pick a sport in Philly! Any sport! And the fans are awful. But the Eagles fans have to be the worst (I’d say Flyers a close second). Let’s go ahead and disregard throwing snowballs at Santa, and throwing batteries, and simply look at this recent decade. Since the end of the McNabb/Reid era, the Eagles have been… well, not good. Philly sports have been suffering for some time. The Eagles still haven’t won a Super Bowl.

But in 2017? Carson Wentz is the greatest QB ever in the history of the NFL, their defense is the best defense in decades, even when they traded for Jay Ajayi (cough-overrated-cough) they acted like he was the second coming of Barry Sanders. They make the playoffs off the strength of Wentz, but oh no! Wentz is out and Nick Foles is bringing his Ryan Mallett-esque play to the table!

You’d think Philly fans would have some couth, and maybe understand that this makes them less than favorable moving forward, right?

NOOOOOOOPE!

Suddenly it’s “how dare you call us underdogs!” when they know damn well that Foles is not going to take them anywhere. At this point though, I’m not sure if it’s just blind homerism, or if they truly believe Foles can bring them a Super Bowl.

Either way, Philly phans are a no-go. Ever. In terms of major sports cities, I’d rank the worst fans:

Philly

Boston

Pittsburgh

New York

HA! Pittsburgh is out and I’m still laughing at their internal implosion…

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