Yay… another Patriots Super Bowl.
Yay… an insufferable Eagles fan base.
Indeed, all of us common fans are stuck between a rock and a hard place when deciding which team we should be rooting for this Sunday at 6:30pm. Do we root for the Patriots to keep dominating the league so that Bahstan fans can become even more insufferable than they already are? Or do we cheer on the Eagles, whose fans spent their time pre/during/post NFC Championship launching beer cans at Vikings fans, mocking a 99-year-old granny, and lighting fires in the streets?
As Ravens fans… we really don’t want either to win. Philly is close enough in proximity that we all know a handful of gloating Eagles fans who can’t go a single sentence in 2018 without using the word ‘underdog,’ while the Pats are a long-time nemesis of the Ravens (I won’t say rival & open that can of worms) that typically only garner Baltimore support when playing the Steelers.
Alas, we need to pick a team because… well because I’m 200 words deep and I’m not turning back now.
Let us weigh our options.
Why We’d Root For New England…
Russell Street Report’s own Tony Lombardi has pointed out in recent weeks that a Patriots win can be a good thing, and it has to do with Pittsburgh.
Yes, Pittsburgh.
I honestly believe the next Yinzer to hoot & holler “6 rings!” will give me a concussion from one too many face-palms. But if the Patriots win on Sunday? They’ll be tied with Pittsburgh for most Super Bowl wins, thus knocking the Steel City trolls down a peg (of course, they’ll likely clap back with ‘yah… wheelll we dint cheet to win arrs!‘). Less chatter from Yinzers is always great for Ravens fans (and really, the rest of the world).
Then there’s the biggest reason to root for New England: BECAUSE PHILLY PHANS PHREAKING SUCK.Â
I don’t care about the “the few idiots shouldn’t represent the entire fanbase” theory by Eagles fans, for 3 reasons:
- The actions of the few don’t excuse the inaction of the many (didn’t see anybody tearing down the F-Milly banner, did you?)
- Philly fans embrace their a-hole behavior (‘that’s just how we are in Philly’)
- There’s a history
I won’t touch on the history – we all know it – but I will drop an anecdote: I wore a Capitals hat to a concert in Philly a few years ago. I had more than a half dozen people suggest I was crazy-stupid. Why? BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS PHILLY SPORTS FANS ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST AND I WAS BEGGING TO GET POPPED (turns out, I didn’t – probably because I was in a punk rock concert where violence stays in the mosh pit).
I simply can’t root for those Philly morons to have their neanderthal-esque behavior rewarded with a championship!
Aside from that…
*pours whiskey*
*drinks whiskey*
…with every Patriots Super Bowl victory, we continue to witness history. The duo of Tom Brady & Bill Belichick is truly some next level ish, and to see the duo end up with more rings than the Olympic flag would really be something else. And can we be honest for a second here? The truth is that it wouldn’t matter if these 2 were on any of the other 30 NFL franchises- we’d hate that team. It has nothing to do with the 52 other players on the roster, the OC, the DC… it’s Brady & the Hoodie.
And no matter if they win or lose on Sunday? We’ll still hate them.
So why not witness history?
*pours more whiskey*
*drinks from bottle instead*
Why We’d Root For Philly…
How bout them underdogs? Kinda reminds me of a certain 2000 team that got no respect on their run to the Super Bowl…
Since Eagles stud QB Carson Wentz went down with an ACL injury, Philly fans have been on the fringe of disappointment, knowing damn well that Nick Foles couldn’t get them out of the Divisional Round, let alone to the Super Bowl.
And yet, here we are.
And really, this Philly team mimics what Baltimore Ravens fans loved so much about that 2000 team: defense, defense, and defense (and a struggling, inconsistent offense)! In fact, if this 2018 Eagles team resided in any other state in the US? We’d be cheering for them, no doubt! It’s a shame that their fans that give us reservations, but can we really bring ourselves to cheer for New England, just because the Philly fans are so awful?
Speaking of New England, I think we can summarize why we can’t root for them – and in turn, root for the Eagles – rather quickly: Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, Ineligible Receiver, Billy Cundiff, Lee Evans, Spygate, Deflategate, Lopsided Officiating, and Massholes who are just… the worst.
So… what’s the verdict?
Who To Root For…
Y’all are gonna hate me. But hear me out first…
Maybe it’s the parent in me who empathizes with Tom Brady after Alex Remier of WEII called Brady’s 5-year-old daughter an “annoying little pissant” on a call with Brady (who says that about a kid?!). Maybe it’s that the Philly media thinks this sort of irresponsible journalistic bullsh*t is acceptable, regardless of who the opponent is.
Maybe it's no coincidence that Aaron Hernandez tragedy happened to Patriots. @brookob columnizes: https://t.co/cq77ljXY31
— Jeff McLane (@Jeff_McLane) January 31, 2018
*Don’t click on the article. They don’t deserve it. In short, the Philly.com ‘reporter’ says the Pats asked for trouble because Hernandez had red flags but they didn’t care, they just wanted to win, because OBVIOUSLY no other NFL team takes guys with red flags, and OBVIOUSLY the Pats knew that Hernandez was going to be both talented and a murderer…
But what really convinced me to pull for the Pats?
Maryland ties and witnessing history.
When looking at the ties to Maryland, look no further than Belichick, who was raised in Maryland, is a huge Navy fan, had his first coaching gig in the NFL as a Special Assistant with the Baltimore Colts (at $25/week), and his daughter-in-law, Jen Belichick (formerly Schmitt) is from right here in Perry Hall, MD (her husband, Steve, has worked his way up the coaching ranks and is currently coaching the safeties for the Pats).
As a former Perry Hall Gator who went to High School with Jen, I’ve gotta show some support!
Then there’s history… guys, I may be getting soft in my old age (really getting up there at 31), but I simply don’t hate the Patriots any more.
I honestly, honestly don’t.
Taking a step back and looking at the Patriots, I see so much crap thrown their way, but for what reason? Spygate was over a decade ago. The Deflategate debacle (now 3 years old) was never truly resolved (NFL enforced penalties more a function of “call on the field stands” and not “call on the field confirmed”), but fans made their own assumptions based on a narrative driven by ‘once a cheater, always a cheater!’ We hate Brady because he whines, but does he really whine any more than the average NFL player? I’m sure some of you are thinking ‘officiating favors them’ as well – again, there’s no definitive proof that it’s favoritism, and not discipline coupled with poor officiating.
So why do we hate the Patriots?
Simply put, we hate them ’cause we ain’t them, and I’m not too proud, or foolish, to admit it.
Think about this: If the Ravens had a run like the Patriots, every other franchise would hate us just the same. We’ve had our share of controversies here in Baltimore (Ray Lewis, Ray Rice, Darren Sanders, a slew of PED suspensions, DUI’s, so on and so forth), much like New England. Just like the much maligned Tom Brady, we have a player in our franchise history in Ray Lewis, that we believe is the GOAT, but his image has been tarnished forever.
I’m sorry guys, I’m rooting for history this Sunday, not the worst fans in the NFL to burn Philly to the ground…
