Ravens Carols for the #HolidaySZN

The Fanimal Ravens Carols for the #HolidaySZN

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It’s that time of year folks! The holiday season is upon us, and for those Grinches and Scrooges among us? At least be happy that Festivus may very well be just around the corner…

***does not constitute a jinx***

Of course, this is the season for all things joyous, and what’s more joyous that carols? After all…

So let’s take those mundane carols and put a Ravens twist on them! Bet we’ll have some of you singing these eventual classics as the holiday weekend falls upon us. Or at least laughing.

Okay, maybe just rolling your eyes.

Up first, for the Flacco Haters (Jingle Bells)…

Jingle Bells,

Flacco smells,

The offense laid an egg!

Threw 5 yards on 3rd and 8,

So Lamar took your job away!

How about a little something for the ‘Lamar is a bust crowd’ (Oh Come, All Ye Faithful)…

Oh come, Flacco faithful!

Livid and disgusted!

Oh come, shout ye keyboard warriors

“Laaaaa-maaaaar can’t throw!”

How about a little something for those of us ready for a new look in 2019 (Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)…

Hark the Ravens media sings

Glory to the new regime!

Harbs is gone, and Ozzie too

Flacco, Jimmy- next is you!

Joyful, Ravens Nation sing!

“Let the coach search get going!”

Stevie Biscuits doth proclaim

“Missed the playoffs? That’s a shame…”

Hark, the Ravens media sings,

Glory to the new regime!

Let’s throw in a little hometown Flavor (O’ Little Town of Bethlehem)….

O’ little town of Baltimore

How much we all in-fight

About thy Super Bowl MVP

And the kid who stole his spotlight!

Yet next year there’s no question

On who will be Q-B

The hopes and fears of future years

Are in the hands of E-D-C!

Let’s step away from the future for a moment, and take a look at the next few weeks for the purple Kool-Aid drinking Ravens fan (The First Noel)…

The first… Round Playoff Game

The Ravens will reign!

Who they’ll play? I’ve no idea  

But I want a home game!

On the field, at The Bank,

The D will  fly high!

I kinda want Pittsburgh

Just to watch Ben cry!

No L… No L… No L… No L

If the Ravens want playoffs they must take No L’s

The Ravens offense in it’s truest form (Little Drummer Boy)…

Hand… the rock to Gus

He’ll run-run-run, run….

Now hand it to Dixon

He’ll run-run-run, run…

Maybe Lamar will keep

He’ll run-run-run, run…

The defense on their heels, as Ravens

Run-run-run run…

Run-run-run run…

Run-run-run run…

A little look ahead to next year (Deck The Halls)…

Deck the Hall with Ed Reed jerseys!

Fa la la la la

La la la la

Canton bound… and… (checks wiki)… he just turned 40!

Fa la la la la

La la la la

(they can’t all be gems)

Happy Holidays Ravens Flock! 

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Adam Bonaccorsi

About Adam Bonaccorsi

Living on the farce-side of Baltimore sports, Adam spends his time focusing on the satirical nature of our local teams- conveniently, sometimes the narrative writes itself! He's not one to shy away from controversial opinions, speaking his mind, or dropping a truth bomb into the Purple Kool Aid. More from Adam Bonaccorsi

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