The 2019 NFL season is upon us, and that means that The Chicken Box has returned. For the new readers, The Chicken Box is a collection of (normally) NFL-related thoughts that I’ve had from things that have happened around the league. Occasionally I will include a bonus ‘Thought Pocket’ which is generally filled with bad advice and hilarious life hacks. For some reason, Royal Farms has decided that this was the article they wanted to sponsor, which is where the name originated, so go buy stuff from them or whatever.
Anyway, let’s go ahead and kick this thing off!
Antonio Brown learned from the best. And by the best, I mean the worst. I think we can all agree that Ben Roethlisberger is among the worst humans to walk on an NFL field, regardless of whether he was convicted or not. And, whether Antonio Brown is convicted or not (he won’t be), I think we can all agree that he’s completely capable of something like this, right?
*Cue the same people who told me not to judge Tyreek Hill until he was convicted.*
We can all debate whether Brown orchestrated this entire Raiders fiasco in order to get to New England, or whether he’s really just that tapped, but either way, you can’t sit there and tell me that he’s a good human, with a straight face. The text messages seem pretty damning, and of course the Patriots won’t do anything about it until they’re absolutely forced to, because why would they want to mess up their chances to aggravate the entire NFL world by going to the Super Bowl again?! I never really hated Brown, because he was inconsistent-at-best against the Ravens, but this whole thing has left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. At least the Patriots are keeping him off of social media, which is a plus for my brain cells.
The Ravens should absolutely trade for Minkah Fitzpatrick. It makes way too much sense, as explained in this tweet thread. You mean to tell me Baltimore could get another premiere nickel corner, who can also play both safety positions, for a 2nd and likely a 5th?! And they’d also have the 5th year option, since he’s still on his rookie deal? You mean to tell me they could add another Pro Bowl-level (yes I know the Pro Bowl has become a joke) defensive back to an already stacked positional group? Sign me up.
A lot of you that follow me, and read my articles, know that I’m not a ‘sign/trade for everybody’ guy, but Minkah is a legitimate defensive weapon. I wouldn’t hate it at all, in fact, I think I’d love it. He’d have to give up that No. 29, though. Because that’s Earl’s number. Period.
Baltimore is not the first team to ever have three Heisman winners score a touchdown. I feel like the air should be cleared here, because the question has been asked all week. Some people even said that they were indeed the first team to ever do it.
The other team to do it was the 1990 Oakland Raiders. Tim Brown, Marcus Allen, and some guy named Bo Heckin’ Jackson each scored a touchdown in the same game. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a seriously impressive statistic, since it’s been.. math.. 29 years since it happened the last time. 29.. same number Minkah Fitzpatrick wears.. illumina..
Thanks to NFL on ESPN for that statistic. It’s about time they proved their worth as a Twitter follow.
Why is this the ‘Suggs Homecoming Game’? Why isn’t the storyline about Tony Jefferson facing his old team for the first time? Or the Kyler vs. Lamar narrative?
That’s not actually what I want to talk about, now that I think about it. I want to issue a PSA to the Ravens Flock who will be in attendance this Sunday – including the ones who are winning free tickets because they follow me and listened to my podcast this week. You guys are the real MVPs.
Anyway. Do not boo Sizzle when he comes out of the visitor’s tunnel. Feel free to boo if he gets a sack or a thigh-terception. But before and after the game, you damn well better remember everything that man did for this franchise. I’ve seen murmurs on Twitter of people that hate Suggs for leaving, and plan on booing him at the game. For those people: you are terrible human beings, and I hate you. You simply cannot fault him for wanting to return home to finish out his career, and be near to his family. It isn’t right.
At this point, some of you probably have some unrealistic expectations for the Ravens in 2019. A 59-10 beatdown will do that to folks. It’s important to remember that that’s an exception, not the rule. The Ravens will most likely regress to their mean, starting on Sunday. So please, don’t expect a 60-point decimation, and don’t be disappointed if/when it doesn’t happen. Is this a team that can throw up 30+ points on Sunday? Abso-hecking-lutely. Are they able to drop 50 on opponents every week? Not even close.
You also can’t necessarily expect another phenomenal day through the air. The Cardinals boasted the 32nd ranked run defense in 2018, and didn’t do much to improve it, so the smart money says they lean on their four-headed rushing attack more than they did against the Dolphins (they put up 265 rushing yards against the Dolphins, so this should be hilarious). I don’t think the Ravens have trotted out many-if-any of their tricks for their ‘revolutionary’ offense, and they may not do it against the Cardinals either. You have to read the room – no need to befuddle teams who can befuddle themselves quite nicely.
That’s it for me, folks. The first Chicken Box is in the books, and I gotta tell you, it is damn good to be back. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@ChibsRSR) and listen to the most average Ravens podcast on the planet (@NZIPodcast). Strap in, boys and girls. It’s going to be a good time in 2019.