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Most Obnoxious NFL Fan Bases

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Welcome Flockers, to Week 4 of the 2MD. Plenty to dig into this week, so let’s get rolling!

About Last Week…

The Ravens lost. It was ugly. I’ve moved on and thus, have zero interest in talking about it in detail.

Yes, I know this is a very ‘take my ball and go home’ mentality, and had they won I’d be gloating immensely. But guess what?

That’s called being a fan!

Given that fan is short for fanatic, I think it’s a safe to say I am absolutely fanatical when it comes to the Ravens, and that raw emotion goes both ways. I will jump up and down and find promising stat lines when this team wins big, and I will point out their flaws, throw my jersey across the room, and tweet highly pessimistic things when they lose. And you know what?

That is perfectly acceptable behavior.

If everybody was simply subjective in their approach to sports, would being a fan even be fun?

No, it wouldn’t. We’d all be duds. And nerds. Nobody wants to be a nerdy dud (Ben Stein is the only cool nerdy dud). We want to debate every aspect of our favorite team. We want to pound our chest with big wins. We want to be armchair GMs after every loss. And sure, let’s sprinkle some logic and rationale in there to make sure we’re not always speaking out of our asses, right? But ultimately, fans run on emotion like people who enjoy sugar milk with a hint of coffee run on Dunkin.

So to wrap this all up after the king of all tangents: last week the Ravens looked like trash, we vented, it’s done, and we’re moving onto the Battle of the Beltways.

This Week

Ravens (-14) @ WFT

Sunday 10/4 @ 1 pm

Some of you may ask what WFT stands for. While the easy answer is ‘Washington Football Team,’ I believe this week it stands for “Wipe (the) Floor (with) Them” as we have a pissed off Ravens squad about to face Dan Snyder’s crew.

Before I get into my game prediction, let’s talk Battle of the Beltways and why nobody cares.

… I guess that was the whole point. Nobody cares.

Yes, the WFT have won the last two matchups in 2012 & 2016, but do you think DC fans even care? They surely have more pressing matters to focus on, like 1) what the hell their team name will be in 2021, 2) whether or not Snyder is selling the team, 3) who they’ll take with a top-3 pick next year, and 4) whether Ron Rivera will start Dwayne Haskins, Kyle Allen, or cyborg Alex Smith after the Ravens handle business this week.

As for the Ravens, they’re somewhere in between pissed off and laser focused. A brutal loss to the Chiefs on the national stage shouldn’t sit well with John Harbaugh and his team. I expect this week’s emphasis to be on getting back to who they are, establishing that identity, and never taking their foot off the throat of the WFT.

Prediction: September 14, 2003.

That’s the date the Baltimore Ravens set their franchise rushing record with a 295-yard effort by Jamal Lewis, en route to a total 343 rushing yards on the day, as they beat the Browns 33-13.

I think what we’ll see on Sunday will be a heavily focused ground & pound effort by the Ravens, en route to a 300+ yard ground game that’ll come close to eclipsing that benchmark. I don’t think we’ll see a similar one man show as we did from Lewis 17 years ago; rather, a collective effort from Mark Ingram, J.K. Dobbins, Gus Edwards and Lamar Jackson, with Ingram surpassing the 100-yard mark, but Edwards capitalizing on a pair of goal line touches.

But let’s not stop there.

Rookies J.K. Dobbins and Devin Duvernay will find the end zone on Sunday as well, as both are heavily involved in the offense.

Let’s go one step further.

Marlon Humphrey picks off two Haskins forced balls to Terry McLaurin, and drives one of those to the end zone in his newly purchase Brinks Truck.

This is going to be a bloodbath of a game and I genuinely feel sorry for the WFT having to face a pissed off and fired up Ravens team.

BAL- 40

WFT- 17

Rank Em!

After Monday night, I felt this ranking is necessary.

Top-5 Most Obnoxious NFL Fanbases

5. LA Chargers

They still hang onto that playoff win in Lamar’s rookie year, and this year all they do is talk about their super cool uniforms because nothing else is going right for them. Also LA fans are just obnoxious in general (yes, I’m talking about Lakers and Dodgers fans as well).

4. Cleveland Browns

No, we didn’t steal your team. No, you have no right to discredit our 2000 Super Bowl. No, your franchise doesn’t suck because of Art Modell. Go look at your QB history and try the blame game again.

3. New England Patriots

Notice how much quieter their fans are this year? It’s because the swarms of fairweather Tom Brady stans moved their allegiance to Tampa, much like LeBron stans in every city he jumps to.

2. Kansas City Chiefs

Win one title. Act entitled. At least Pats fans had multiple rings (and asterisks) to their name when they started to throw shade to other fan bases…

1. Pittsburgh Steelers

Quoth the Yinz: 6 Rings. Naturally, that’s the only response you’ll ever get to any rational football conversation, since they legit don’t know how to argue, speak football intelligibly, or win a debate. Just keep saying ‘6 Rings’ and wave the dish rag. That’ll do pig. That’ll do.

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