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Here We Go…Golfing Again

The Fanimal Here We Go…Golfing Again

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Ah, Steelers fans. How are y’all doing today?

Wasn’t last night something? Isn’t it funny how you’ve been telling Ravens fans all year long – while you rode your cupcake schedule – that the Ravens would go one and done, and now here you sit, sent home by the Covid-riddled Cleveland Browns of all teams?

The Pittsburgh Steelers have become a joke, and I’m here to tell you why. Allow me to count the ways…

Since losing to the Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl XLV, the Steelers are 3-6 in playoff games.

Those three wins? Came against:

  1. The A.J. McCarron-led Cincinnati Bengals (thanks to a Jeremy Hill fumble with under two minutes to play)
  2. The Matt Moore-led Miami Dolphins
  3. The pre-Mahomes Chiefs

And let’s be real, they shouldn’t have won that Bengals game. Jeremy Hill fumbled with under two minutes to play and Cincy leading and trying to run out the clock, allowing the 18-16 Steelers victory.

The Steelers have gone one and done in the playoffs four times since 2010 and they’ve missed the playoffs entirely four times as well.

Pittsburgh, I am sorry to say, but you are the Dallas Cowboys of this decade. What they were from 2000-10, you guys were from 2011-20 – riding the coattails of past greatness with no recent results to back it up. Pathetic.

And it’s gonna get better!

The Steelers are in salary cap hell. They are projected to be about $22 million over the cap next season and have only 36 players under contract. Not ideal. Minkah Fitzpatrick and T.J. Watt are both expecting large paydays in the near future as well.

About Last Night…

Before you could blink, it was 28-0 Browns. I mean, when THIS is the first play from scrimmage, you gotta kinda feel like it’s not your night, huh?

But hey, falling behind big has become commonplace for the Steelers in the playoffs at home! In their last playoff game before yesterday’s debacle, they hosted the Jacksonville Jaguars…and found themselves trailing 21-0 early in the second quarter before losing, 45-42 to the great Blake Bortles.

That play wasn’t on Ben though…horrible snap, Pouncey! Like, historically bad. Matt Skura thinks it was bad.

Roethlisberger doesn’t escape blame after that, however. It took him until the very next drive to start Benning things up.

How about two picks in the first quarter?

Early in the second, number three!

He didn’t throw any in the third quarter, so golf clap!

Back to more of the same in Q4:

To sum up, that was quite possibly the worst playoff game I’ve ever seen from him (and the man has had some stinkers).

Lamar Jackson, as we’ve been told, sucks in the playoffs. Well, Lamar has thrown four picks in his three career playoff games.

Ben threw four last night. He’s as overcooked as a bad Thanksgiving turkey.

But, I was told that Ben was in the best shape of his career?

He looked like the Michelin Man. The guy can’t throw downfield, he can’t move in the pocket at all, he’s forcing his throws and he has ensured that the offense runs through him at his advanced age.

He’s due to make $40 million next season if he plays and $22 million of dead money will hit the cap if they cut him. The man cannot play a full season of football and there is no immediate plan to replace him.

So this Steelers offense is left with an aging offensive line, no future at QB and no running game whatsoever. Good luck next season guys!

11-0 seems like an eternity ago, doesn’t it?

Looking at last night again, let’s remember those interceptions.

Don’t think I’ve forgotten about Mike Tomlin.

The man is a great coach, don’t get me wrong. But last night was absolutely inexcusable. The fact that the Steelers lost that game so badly at home is a damning black eye on Tomlin’s tenure as a head coach. And he is getting roundly roasted all over today for his terrible decision to punt when Pittsburgh’s offense was rolling & it looked like it might become a Browns collapse instead of a Steelers letdown. We know that the Steelers don’t fire coaches, but with one year left on Tomlin’s contract, it wouldn’t surprise me if the two sides “mutually parted ways.”

In closing, the Steelers suck, and they have for a few years now. Their last four playoff games at Heinz Field have resulted in one win (against, again MATT MOORE), and three losses, one each to the Jags, Ravens, and Browns. Ouch. Their quarterback is a washed up bum who needs to hang ’em up. They are in salary cap hell and are gonna try to dig out with a toothpick. Their six rings don’t impress anyone when they’ve been a complete joke in the postseason for the last ten years.

The good news? All those shirts you have that boast about “Six Rings” won’t be obsolete any time soon.

The “Stairway to Seven” keeps crumbling into a curb of rubble.

Don’t feel too bad though, Yinzers. Hockey starts soon.

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About Ben Dackiw

Ben is a journalism student at the University of Oklahoma. Thanks to living in Baltimore for 11 years, he may be the only Ravens fan in Southlake, Texas, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Ben is currently the President of the University of Oklahoma Ravens Fan Club. More from Ben Dackiw
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