The Ravens losing the AFC Championship Game has triggered widespread sadness throughout Charm City. Here at Russell Street Report, we want to guide you through the 5 stages of Ravens grief to help you prepare for free agency, the NFL Draft and all the excitement of a Ravens offseason. But to move you along from the despair of Sunday’s heartbreaking loss and back to your happy place, let’s identify the 5 stages – together. This is paramount to working through the grief.
Where in these stages does your grief reside?
Denial
Immediately after the loss, while still in your seat at The Bank, you stare at the field yet see nothing but a green blur where the stadium’s grass once was. If at home, you are frozen in time, looking like a zombie extra on the set of The Walking Dead. The world seems surreal. Things are happening around you, yet it feels somewhat out of body. It’s as if you are looking down on a catastrophic scene where pain and agony exist. But you are not part of it, not really. You cling to the hope that it’s all just a bad movie that you can fast forward through. Maybe even delete.
You hear voices around you. Something like, “Honey, it will be alright. The Ravens had a good season. There’s always next year.”
You pretend you didn’t hear her, because if you allow it to interact with your current form of consciousness, your head might explode and you might end up in the clink.
Which takes us to…
Anger
It’s three days later. The numbness wears off. Your beard has grown. You need a shower. Your breath stinks, even to you. You’ve been staring into nowhere for over 72 hours.
You hear voices around you. “Honey, you should really brush your teeth.”
Anger sets in. It’s a very natural emotion after your team loses the AFC Championship Game. It boils within you. For a while the anger just simmered. Now, the proverbial pot is bubbling. This place is about to blow!
You snap out of the trance. You scream at your dog Tucker to change his f-ing name and for God’s sake take off the f-ing dog Ravens jersey. “I HATE PURPLE!”
You grab every piece of Ravens swag you have and throw it into a pile. You’re about to have a Ravens barbeque.
That Christmas tree your wife redecorated for you, adorned in Ravens bling and purple lights, you grab it by the trunk, walk it outside and jam all 8 feet of it into a 3 foot, 36 gallon trash can. You wipe your hands together when done, as if you’ve accomplished something.
After she finishes screaming at you like she’s Sam Kinison, you suddenly notice that she’s there.
“When did you get here?”
Her look could stop an assassin in his tracks. The only response you’ve got is, “What?”
Bargaining
Bargaining is when we start to make deals with ourselves, or perhaps with God, in order to manage the pain. We want to believe that if we never wear that old Testaverde jersey again and instead wear that old Ravens ball cap that your wife told you to get rid of because it looked like something Goodwill would reject, the Ravens fortunes may have been different.
We make deals with our sub-conscience, to make future outcomes more pleasurable.
“I swear that if the Ravens make it back to the AFC Championship Game, I won’t watch it at Cathy & Joe’s! Nor will I drink that 12-pack of IPA’s or do a shot after every touchdown.”
That vow should change things!
It’s also common to repeat the details of what happened during the game. We find comfort in “what if” questions and convince ourselves that John Harbaugh and Todd Monken and Lamar Jackson will all have learned a valuable lesson. Next time, things will be different.
Right?
RIGHT?
Depression
Sadness and longing grip you like a Grainger industrial strength vise. The pain is intensified when the team loses assistant coaches, and with each one, the vise’s pressure becomes more and more unbearable. You consider all the unrestricted free agents the Ravens could lose. The pure anguish comes in waves, and it can be as agonizing as watching the Ravens call another lame jet sweep for 2 yards; as another Taylor Swift sighting; as another school-girl-like Tony Romo soliloquy during which he fawns all over Patrick Mahomes.
In a dastardly way, you encourage Swifties to consider Jonestown for their next vacation destination. You highly recommend the KoolAid. The meaning of life can change in this depression stage. Things are now getting scary. Yet you have the awareness to seek help, to find a sponsor.
Where is Loudermilk?
You find the business card of a divorce attorney on the kitchen table.
But you didn’t put it there.
The shit’s getting real now!
Acceptance
Gradually, you get it together. Your wife sees the progress you’ve made and ditches the attorney’s card. Once again, she’s willing to share her bed with you, but relations aren’t on the table – not yet.
Then one day you awake and remind yourself that there is a tomorrow. That Eric DeCosta can work his magic with limited cap space and field a competitive team. That the AFC North can be won again and after that, anything can happen, right? This is the NFL! And we’ve got Lamar Jackson who can…
Hang on! Don’t go there!
Breathe.
Just breathe.
You accept that you may never ‘get over’ the loss of the AFC Championship at home, but you damn well can learn to live again, while keeping the memories of those great wins during the 2023 season close by.
And then you remember, the Angelos Family just sold the Baltimore Orioles.
Pitchers and catchers report in 13 days.
Hey, you going to Opening Day at The Yard?
18 Responses
Just like after SBIII🤮
Not even close Jack . Let’s have a beer or coffee and I’ll tell you why and name individuals involved. Including Carroll Rosenblooms million dollar bet on the Jets.
If we make it to the AFC championship game with Harbs as coach. Our collective guard will be up. As Fans it will be a long time before we invest that amount of emotional capitol in this Team. Don’t get me wrong we will cheer but if the outcome is the same. It wont hurt no where near as much
After a solid year of mediocre football played by mediocre teams, my passion for the game in general and the Ravens in particular has waned! If this is the parity that Goodell and the NFL envisioned, then it’s not worth investing the same passion when professional football was a great game with more emphasis on quality than parity! Coupled with the Raven’s abysmal postseason performances and record, the level of excitement has diminished! So, unlike the past, I no longer get too excited when they win or too disappointed when they lose……..
I’ll feel a lot better if the 49ers beat the Chiefs.
I’m not watching the Super Bowl. I will not watch Mahomes in his Allstate commercials and the camera showing Taylor Swift throughout the game. Heaven forbid Tony Romo is there, I would have to make a suggestion about what he could do during halftime, but I can’t put it here. I agree with ArmchairQB, the passion is gone. The same result again this year. Players leaving, coaches leaving, it won’t be the same team. The NFL is a business and the players go right along with it. No team loyalty. The NFL is about the mighty dollar. They keep adding games and more playoffs, no concern for what it does to the players, just more money. They put games on streaming services all fans don’t have, but they don’t care, they want the money. The pro bowl is now flag football, is that where the NFL is headed. I hope I’m not here to see it. I’ll watch next year and cheer when they do well, but no be upset if they lose, it happens. It’s hard to be loyal when they aren’t, not to the game plan that works or the fans.
So I take it you found no humor in the 5 stages? Asking for a friend…
Well, I certainly did! Brilliant article. I’m still in the Depression stage, so it’s hard to make me laugh, but i did just now!
I liked your article. I always look forward to your articles after games. I guess my disappointment is making me about other aspects.
I appreciate your support. We’re all disappointed, nowhere near as much as the Ravens. Let’s hope they channel the emotion of that disappointment in a way that helps them get better.
Well, I did quit wearing my “Baltimore Ravens” cap until today.
I think it will be a few years before the Ravens field a team as good as the ’23 Ravens; remember the years after Joe Flacco got the big payday.
The 2013 Ravens team that was purged of talent was 8-8 and missed the playoffs by one game with a bunch of no names! And, the 2014 Ravens with Kubiak as OC saw Flacco enjoy his most productive season and would have reached the championship game if Harbaugh’s DC crony, Dean “Swiss” Pees, didn’t squander Flacco’s four TD passes and two 14 pt. leads in both halves against the Patriots! So, yeah, I do remember Flacco’s performance after EARNING his big payday!
I agree kubiak was good for Flacco but that can’t be part of evert comment u make, no more please.
But, it proves a point, doesn’t it?! By the way, it was Kubiak who characterized Flacco as, “elite”, and who recommended him to Cleveland this year!
It was a nice article to remind us that it is just a game and those stages of grief are really for something even more important in life. I, too, have learned to invest any emotion with this team or the NFL. It is what it is, a better version of pro wrestling. As long as you have Harbaugh running the show and LJ as our QB, I trust and expect to get similar results regardless of the plug and play new assistants, FA and draft picks.
I did laugh out loud at the suggestion to send the Swifties to Jonestown for vacation :o)
Orioles News, New Ownership & Now Burnes Trade really did get many off the ledge. Cant wait for Opening Day. And While that Ravens pain won’t go away til next September. Orioles brings hope again. Adley, Gunnar, Jackson Holiday.. The Time is NOW.
Every February there’s fans from 31 other teams who need therapy. One thing for sure. The size of a players contract no longer determines his ability on the field .