Foreward by Tony Lombardi
Recently I was asked by former Baltimore Colts Pro Bowl Safety Bruce Laird to reprint with permission these compelling stories as told by SportsBusiness Journal’s Founding Editor John Genzale. They are the stories of wives of afflicted former NFL players — what they’ve endured and what they’ve been left to deal with while struggling with their husbands’ handicap or worse, their death.
Their trials and tribulations both individually and collectively represent the bitter aftermath of living the dream of competing in the NFL. The broken bodies of their loved ones are mere collateral damage of the league’s ascension to glory. Tragically these families and others like them are left nearly incapable of supporting themselves or sustaining even a modest lifestyle. In many ways they’ve been abandoned by the league, a league that they helped to build — one with a gaudy amount of wealth yet seemingly bankrupt of compassion.
Hopefully things will change but clearly not soon enough for Mrs. Mackey, Heywood and Shy. Here are their stories…
By John Genzale
Founding Editor
SportsBusiness Journal
Sylvia’s Mackey story:
Sylvia Mackey raised hell about football-related dementia on CNN and ESPN after her husband, Hall of Fame tight end John Mackey, started to lose his God-given faculties. He became forgetful, often angry and had started causing public scenes. “He wasn’t the John I knew and loved for so many years.â€
The Mackey case has been well documented not only on television but in countless print articles.
Sylvia, an articulate actress, model and flight attendant, a member of United Airlines’ flight-attendant union and a member of the Screen Actor’s Guild for 34 years, expected the league or the union to help. “John still pays his union dues every year.†But the union was largely unresponsive and help was slow until other former players came to the aid of the Mackeys by putting pressure on the union.
“It wasn’t only my husband,†she said. “There were lots of guys with some form of dementia from football, all facing medical catastrophe. Finances, even lives were going down the drain.â€
Sylvia confronted Paul Tagliabue before he retired. It’s an over-simplification to say that the problem was instantly recognized and solved, but according to Syliva, “that got the ball rolling.†Tagliabue passed along his concerns to Roger Goodell and early in 2007, Plan 88, the number John wore when playing for the Baltimore Colts, was approved by the league and written into the labor agreement with the NFLPA.
It provides for $50,000 a year for in-home care including five-day a week nursing care. That’s what the Mackey’s receive now. “It’s a wonderful benefit. When John has to go to a nursing home, sometime in the future, the plan will pay up to $88,000 of that care.â€
Syliva said, “He has a nurse now. We keep John active. We’re getting ready to go out to dinner right now with our daughter [Laura Mackey]. The love of a family really helps.â€
Sylvia Mackey regrets that it took so long to get people to act. But she’s philosophical. “Whenever people have to give up money, they’re going to be real slow.â€
She said credits the two commissioners but said the NFLPA was “unresponsive until John former teammates got involved.
“Bruce Laird and his Fourth and Goal organization went to bat for us with the union. Bruce was wonderful. He fought our battle and got other retired players to act on John’s behalf. Still took the union six months to call.â€
But she doesn’t want place blame. “I’m concerned because I know there are more people out there who need help. Progress needs to be made. There are lots of battles and they won’t all be won at once.
“But I don’t blame anyone. I don’t bash anyone. I have a good relationship with Gene [Upshaw] and I love what Bruce Laird did for us.â€
Suzie Heywood’s story
Suzie Heywood, an NFL widow, lost her ranch and then her husband. She’s “living on a small income, but when that runs out, it’s just gone.†Here’s her story:
“I started to realize there was something wrong with Ralph in 2004. My husband was always strong. He was a Marine Colonel, the only NFL player to fight in three wars, World War II, Korea and Vietnam.
“He was playing football for USC and enlisted right after Pearl Harbor. He was just that kind of guy. He fought for his country.
He played in the NFL for four years after the war. He was one of the highest paid linemen. He made $6,000 a year.
He got hit a lot. When you’re young you’re invincible. It doesn’t matter if you get hit on the head. You’re a gladiator. Ralph had a bunch of concussions. I don’t know how many and Ralph couldn’t remember. In those days the equipment wasn’t very good. But guys back then played through the concussions. They had to. There was always someone younger and cheaper.
My husband was a warrior. He paid his dues. He didn’t make a lot of money. He had a football pension, but that wasn’t much. We got by mostly on his service pension.
We had a ranch in Texas. Ralph was a real cowboy, strong and handsome … an American hero. But in 2004 I started to notice that he became forgetful, got frustrated when he couldn’t handle little things. That was just not Ralph.
His dementia didn’t take a true course. Sometime he was just fine. I have a master’s degree in education and I know people. And I understand football. I’m the biggest fan you ever saw.
It started with depression, and then Ralph just quit living life. He became withdrawn, confused. It just wasn’t Ralph.
We saw a doctor and Ralph was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and needed help. As the medical bills started piling up, we started looking for help. At one time we were excited by Plan 88; we felt for a time that someone was coming to the rescue. But we were told it doesn’t apply to us. [More likely, it hadn’t been fully established in 2006 when Suzie made her calls.]
Then we heard there was other help related to the death of Pat Tillman. But nobody told us how to get help. I called the NFL and the Players Association. But there was no information forthcoming from the union. I can’t understand why they wouldn’t return my calls. When I did corner someone, the fellow in charge of retired players, they said there was no help for me. When you need them you’re a has-been and no one’s going to help.
“I swore that we weren’t going to go broke. That just wasn’t going to happen to us. But it did. We had to shut down the ranch. I moved Ralph into one of our horse trailers to cut down on the bills. Then I sold the ranch and our possessions … I sold everything so that I could afford the care my husband needed.
“Nobody would help us and Ralph just faded away.
“Ralph died in April of 2007 of complications from Alzheimer’s.
“After he died I got letter from the union hitting us up for union dues. Can you believe that? Ralph paid $100 a year. I wrote back and asked for burial funds. I’d pay the $100 dollars. But they told me a wife can’t be a member, and that I should have asked sooner for burial funds. They couldn’t help me because I didn’t apply in time.
“I blame the union. I know that they knew about him. I had called and written so many times.
“My least favorite person in the world is Gene Upshaw and $7 million salary. They take money and give no representation to the old guys. How can Gene Upshaw sleep at night?
“Bruce Laird helped pay for my husband’s burial. I think he took it out of his own pocket.
Bruce is fabulous and his group [Fourth and Goal] is fantastic. I was alone sobbing and crying by myself and the next thing I knew they were helping to bury him.â€
[Crying unrepentantly, Suzie said] “My husband helped create change. He helped build the NFL. The damned NFL made their money off the back of those old guys. Ralph stood up for black players. He was a gentleman. And he died with dignity.â€
“It’s too late for me, but there are others. The things that have happened to us don’t have to happen to others. The union can make it better. There are plenty of other who need help. This is a proud group of men. They are not asking for handouts. They’re trying to take care of their families. And many of these guys are dying."
Syndi Shy’s story
Syndi Shy is the widow of Don Shy, a seven-year NFL veteran, who died of brain tumors at 61 in October 2006. Here’s Syndi’s story:
“Don was a wonderful, wonderful African-American man.
“We had a restaurant in San Diego called Papa Shy’s BBQ. When Don became ill, we had to sell and move back to Ohio. Don was so sick. Both his parents had Alzheimer’s and Don had football-related dementia. I watched him dwindle to nothing.
We went to the union. I wrote and called and asked for help. But the PA wouldn’t help. They said we didn’t sign the right insurance forms. No one cared about us. No one helped us. Not the Chicago Bears. They were rude and turned their backs on us. Not the NFL or the union. They said there’s nothing they could do.
“I blame them both. They treated us like crap, but I can’t understand the union not supporting their players and their wives. I was an American Airlines flight attendant for 30 years and the head of the union form 1994 to 98. I was fired after we went on strike.
“Those bastards at the PA wouldn’t help. How can they be in business with management? That’s not a union. Gene Upshaw is not a union man.
“They didn’t tell me about Plan 88. They only said they wanted Don to come to New York to sign forms. But he was too sick.
On the day he died, he said he wanted to go upstairs to rest, but he fell on the floor. My son Brandon and I got him in bed and he said, ‘The NFL killed me.’
“I couldn’t pay for his funeral. The union said they wouldn’t pay because I didn’t ask on time ‘so we’re not paying the bill.’ Can you believe that?
We had used up all our money on Don’s medical bills and were behind on the mortgage. After Don died, Brandon and I didn’t have money. We were forced out on the street. We lived in a 1982 Plymouth Voyager from November through February. Then Mike Ditka heard about our story. Bryant Gumbel had done a story. Mike called Bruce Laird and between them they paid my house payment for two months. They are my guardian angels. They paid my car bill and my utilities.
“Bruce put pressure of the union and shamed them. When Gene called he asked, ’Why did you call Bruce Laird?’ I told him because Fourth & Goal were the only ones who would help us.
Then Gene paid for the next four months rent. He said ‘We don’t usually do this for wives, but let’s do it.’ If not for Bruce, I’d still be on the streets.
Now were back on our feet. I have a catering little business. I do corporate stuff and I plan weddings. Brandon [22] opened a restaurant two weeks ago called ‘Eat my Ribs.’ He says his father is looking down on us and taking care of us.
“We’re a real success story. But this is about my son. He doesn’t even know that I have ovarian cancer. [Crying loudly.] It’s important for me to know that my son is OK. I don’t know if I have six months to live … I just want my son taken care of. I miss Don so much.â€
