As Ravens fans we loath that large collection of towel waving Yinzers who have a collective sense of entitlement and bad teeth. They skip the “Evolution Line” (of course I jest, I think) and I could go on and on about other heinous and classless acts of Stiller fandom but I’ll refrain for now. There’s enough of that going down on message boards.
Instead I’ll revel in the game’s build up. Steelers’ week is like the playoffs and it doesn’t really matter what year it is.
As the game approaches I will pace like a caged tiger moments before feeding time. Then, when the ball is kicked off at 1:05 PM my wife, family and friends will keep their distance and hopefully cover their ears because there is little doubt bowling alley words that might make Chris Rock blush will be flying from my piehole.
This is football.
This is the Ravens v. Steelers.
This is the purple and black taking on those urine stained rags.
Would you want it any other way?
We take our fair share of shots at the Steelers and their fans. Admittedly some of it is envy. Their history runs deeper and their success stories are greater. But given the characters that make up the Steelers’ roster coupled with their Coyote Ugly fan base, they are easy targets. So we’ll fire away!
In the spirit of the rivalry, let’s play! What we may lack in history we make up for with intelligence, looks and we’ve completed the evolutionary scale.
It’s time to open fire on these Yinzers.
* What is the best thing to ever come out of Pittsburgh?
An empty Greyhound Bus.
* What does a Steelers’ fan say when he steps up to the microphone?
"Would you like fries with that?"
* Two Steelers fans walk past a bar…Hey, it could happen.
* What do you say to a Steelers’ fan wearing a suit?
"Will the defendant please rise?"
* What is the difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead Steelers fan in the middle of the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
* Why did the Steelers fan demand his money back after seeing a Weird Al Yankovich concert?
He thought he was Troy Polamalu!
* What are the best things about Pittsburgh?
The airport and the interstate highway system; they help you get the hell out of town!
* How does a Steelers fan deal with a "bad hair day?"
She puts a shirt on!
* What did the Steelers fan do when he was given a pink slip?
He put it on!
* Why did the Steelers fan grow a mustache?
So he could look like his mother.
* Why don’t Steelers coaches argue with the refs on Sundays?
Team meetings aren’t until Monday.
* Why was Hines Ward standing in the locker room staring at a can of orange juice for two hours?
Because it said "concentrate"!!!
What do you get when you have 45 Steelers fans in a room? Special Ed Class
What do you get when you have 45 Bengals fans in a room? Trick question there aren’t 45 Bengals fans!
- Their quarterback formerly known as Big Ben is more appropriately named Pig Ben.
- Their fan base is so ugly they can’t field a team of cheerleaders.
- There’s no crying in football! Tell that to Whines Hard!
- They force visiting teams to play on a cow pasture called Heinz Field.
- Because i have an 18 year old daughter. ~ John Morris
- Whines Hard is a filthy stinkin’ bastard. (Not speaking as a fan. These are facts.) ~ Damon Hancock
- We Are Family ~ Sister Sledge
- Half the refs are in their back pocket and the other half are in Brady’s! ~ Patricia Little Hurst
- Their transplanted fans, living in Baltimore; running around with their black and gold clothing, bumper stickers, flags and window decals. If Pittsburgh had anything to offer, you freakin idiots would still live there!!!! GO BACK HOME and support your team from there! ~ Joyce Williams Moran
Feel free to add your thoughts below in the comments area.
One foggy night, a Ravens fan was heading northwest from Baltimore and a Steelers fan was driving southeast from Pittsburgh. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The Steelers fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I’m lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Ravens fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Steelers fan walks over to the Ravens fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Ravens fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I’m going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Ravens fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel’s. He says to the Steelers fan, "I think this is another sign- we should toast to our newfound friendship."
The Ravens fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I’ll just wait for the cops to show up."
In a school just outside Pittsburgh, a first grade teacher Explained to her class that she is a Steelers Fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they are Steelers fans too. Not really knowing what a Steelers fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all fly into the air with one exception. A little boy named Timmy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different.
"Because I am not a Steelers fan." says Timmy. The teacher asks "Then what are you?"
Timmy says "I am a proud Baltimore Ravens fan!"
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Timmy why he is a Ravens fan.
"Well, my Mom and Dad are Ravens fans so I’m a Ravens fan, too." Timmy responds.
The teacher is now angry.
"That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?
A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Baltimore and a guy from Pittsburgh are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish. That’s three wishes total," says the Genie.
The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska."
With a blink of the Genie’s eye – ‘POOF’ – the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.
The guy from Pittsburgh was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall built around Pittsburgh, so that no Ravens fans can come into our precious city."
Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye – ‘POOF’ – there was a huge wall around Pittsburgh.
The Ravens fan says, "I’m curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Ravens fan says, "Fill it up with water."