FAKER! Mojo notes and Week 3 Picks

Street Talk FAKER! Mojo notes and Week 3 Picks

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Mojo has come to the conclusion that Cincinnati is one boring town for NFL players. Just when the Bengals thought that regular trips to the pokey for its players had finally come to a halt (the last arrest was way back on July 17, 2011 when Cedric Benson got a little rough with a family member), along comes a report that ties Bengals receiver Jerome Simpson and Bengals offensive lineman Anthony Collins to 7.5 pounds of dirt – i.e. marijuana.

No arrests have been made (yet) but leave it to the team with the second ugliest helmets on the planet (the University of Maryland gets that nod) to once again make headlines for off-the-field shenanigans. And people wonder why Carson Palmer left $11 million on the table to walk away from Who Dey & Company.

Chargers defensive tackle Antonio Gray was fined for hitting Tom Brady’s knee last weekend. The hit cost Gray 15 large. Now Mojo isn’t saying the hit wasn’t a violation but there have been several hits around the league on quarterbacks similar or worse than the one delivered by Gray that go un-fined. Once again, the pink tutu served as a reminder to referees that Mr. Bundchen plays by his own set of rules.

World Cup drama erupted in the Meadowlands, or so it seemed on Monday night when Giants’ players feigned injury to slow down the Rams fast break offense. Now the talking heads across the nation are conjuring up ways to curtail the soccer player behavior. The solution is simple really. Any player who comes off the field for an injury has to stay off the field for 5 plays.

Now onto Mojo’s picks…

Last week (Mojo’s first…because only idiots make plays against the spread during Week 1), Mr. Rizon was 10-6 picking winners and 7-7-2 against the line. In other words Mojo sucked so here’s an attempt to not suck…

49ers @ Bengals (-2.5) ~ The Bengals answer to Cheech & Chong (Jerome Simpson and Anthony Collins) invite a few key 49ers over for a little pregame Light my Fire and those Niners show up on Sunday and don’t really give a rat’s you-know-what if they win or lose.  Lay the points and watch the Bengals roll one as they win and cover.

Patriots (-8.5) @ Bills ~ A battle of undefeated teams, look for the Bills to come back to Earth as Mr. Bundchen goes to 3-0. Rabid hometown crowd helps keep it close. Take the points.

Texans @ Saints (-4) ~ This is the lead pipe lock of the week. Lay the points and savor a Saints double-digit win.

Giants @ Eagles (-7) ~ The Giants stink! Lay the points and watch Opie Manning make more faces than Ben Roethlisberger at a high school cheerleader competition.

Dolphins @ Browns (-2.5) ~ Does Tony Sparano sleep with his headset on? Maybe he can coach his team to victory in his dreams but it won’t happen along the shores of the cesspool called Lake Erie. Browns win and cover.

Broncos @ Titans (-6.5) ~ Emotional win for Titans’ skipper Mike Munchak last week over Ravens. They’ll get a little scare from Kyle Orton (really) but hang on for the win. Betting men take the wild horses and the points.

Lions (-3.5) @ Vikings ~ Donovan McNabb might borrow a page from the Giants’ Deion Grant, take a flop and opt out of the likely pounding the Detroit defensive front is likely to inflict. Despite that home dog thing, lay the points and stick with Stafford.

Jaguars @ Panthers (-3.5) ~ While the rest of the universe is fawning over Cam Newton Mojo is singing Love Me Two Times and going away with a Jags win straight up.

Chiefs @ Chargers (-14.5) ~ Is this the spread per quarter? Chiefs are without 2 of their 3 best players (Eric Berry and Jamaal Charles). Without those studs, taking on the Bolts in San Diego will be like trying to put out a California brush fire with a squirt gun. Chargers win 52-6. Can a team be mathematically eliminated after Week 3?

Jets (-3.5) @ Raiders ~ This is a good old fashioned AFL clash and back in those days Al Davis’ guys got it done. They’ll do it again. Raiders pull the upset!

Ravens (-3.5) @ Rams ~ Home domers will keep it close but somewhere along the line Joe Flacco and Cam Cameron wake up. Blackbirds cover, but just barely.

Falcons @ Bucs (-1.5) ~ Dirty Birds won’t be so lucky this week. Josh Freeman will remain upright as the Bucs cover easily.

Cardinals (-3.5) @ Seahawks ~ Neither team is very good. Look for the osprey to enjoy some home cooking and get their offense into gear enough against a generous Arizona defense. Hawks win outright.

Packers (-3.5) @ Bears ~ Love the home dog in this one. Bears have a score to settle and the Packers defense has struggled. This one has been circled on Jay Cutler’s calendar for quite some time. Grizzlies feast on cheese and win it straight up.

Steelers (-10.5) @ Colts ~ Kerry Collins may re-retire after this one. Steelers will be greedy guests under the prime time lights and cover easily. Fans across the country can thank Messrs. Harrison, Woodley and Polamalu and go to sleep early this Sunday Night in America.

Redskins @ Cowboys (-6) ~ The Cowboys and Indians; the battle of fat cat owners; Redskins look to go to 3-0 while Dallas is looking to rally behind injured QB Tony Romo. The Rex Grossman that Redskins fans feared will show up on Monday but the team’s grittiness keeps it close. Cowboys win, but the Skins will cover.

 

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About mr._mojo_rizon

Mr. Mojo Rizon is RSR’s answer to The Sporting News’ “Fly” and The Sun’s exiled “Mr. Flip.” If you are familiar with those columns, you’ll get it.  If not, sit back, brace yourself and enjoy.

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