GOT MIDOL? Current and former New Jersey based footballers are PMS-ing these days. Let’s start with the Toe Monster’s Gang Green. Wide Receiver Santonio Holmes has deciphered everything wrong with the Jets inept offense – it’s the O-Line and he’s gone public with his opinion.
Jets guard Brandon Moore took exception to Holmes’ allegations, particularly the public delivery method. This one should be fun to watch. Wouldn’t it be great to be a fly in that huddle if things break down against the Miami Guppies this weekend?
Staying with the Big Apple and menstrual cramps, Osi Umenyiora is ovulating over criticisms from ESPN’s Antonio Pierce and FOX’s Michael Strahan. Both former Giants have questioned the toughness of current Giants Justin Tuck and Brandon Jacobs who sat out games with injuries.
Interesting, there was a day when Pierce and Strahan were quick to throw former teammate and NBC analyst Tiki Barber under the bus for criticizing his former mates.
Trade rumors are swirling and among the players said to be potentially moving are the Colts’ Reggie Wayne and Robert Mathis. Indy owner and Twitter connoisseur Jimmy Irsay tweeted recently, “No, the trade rumors aren’t true. . . I’m negotiating 2 buy Mars though..so I can ensure inter-galactic, NFL dominance for the 25th century.”
Mojo thinks this Irsay isn’t such a douche bag but he may have been to one too many Grateful Dead shows.
Speaking of dead, Brandon Marshall might be DOA when he shows up on Monday Night to take on the Jets. Dude says he’s going to, “play like a monster” and added later, “I might get in a fight with Bart Scott.”
Probably not a good idea Brandon. Bart isn’t exactly one of your former girlfriends.
Now on to this week’s games…
Ok, ok, I bailed on you guys last week but it’s not as though I’ve made anyone any cake. That said, I haven’t cost you any either. Two weeks ago Mojo had his third consecutive push against the number going 8-8 and 12-4 on winners. Season Totals: Winners (33-15, .688); v. Spread (23-23-2, .500).
So here we go…
Week 6
Rams @ Green Bay (-14) ~ Are you kidding me? The Packers could take the second half off and St. Louis still wouldn’t cover. Maybe the Rams should see if they can borrow Albert Pujols for the afternoon. After all he’ll be nearby in Milwaukee.
Jaguars @ Steelers (-12 ½) ~ Three Rivers won’t exactly be the Jack Del Rio Grande. Jags sink like a rock near the Monongahela. Tomlin’s boys roll.
Eagles (-3) @ Redskins ~ Let’s see, Skins at home and sitting atop the NFC East and the Birds are 2 ½ games back and they’re a road favorite. Doesn’t make much sense but neither does betting on football. Lay the points…Eagles cover.
49ers @ Lions (-4) ~ Many expected this game to be a dog when the schedule makers put this one on the board. It’s not. The big cats remain unbeaten but take the points.
Panthers @ Falcons (-3.5) ~ Dirty Birds are unimpressive this season yet spotting a rookie QB a shade over a field goal on the road in a dome is too inviting and Mojo accepts. Matt Ryan is due and this will be his day. Lay the points.
Colts @ Bengals (-6.5) ~ No this is not a typo but it is a big number for the Shere Khans to cover. Bengals keep the goose egg in the Colts win column but the horseshoes cover.
Bills @ Giants (-3) ~ The G-Men are hard to figure out and their success rides on the defensive front 7. Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick gets rid of the rock quickly and Freddie Jax is on a roll. Make it Western NY over East New Jersey. Buffalos win outright.
Texans @ Ravens (-7) ~ Ray Lewis & Co. are tough at home and the Texans are really nicked up and that’s before they face off with the Baltimore Bullies. Get the body bags ready. Ravens cover easily.
Browns @ Raiders (-6.5) ~ Cleveland is rested after their bye so there’s no cross country trip to whine about if they lose…and they won’t. The “Black Hole” changes colors on Sunday as the Browns win outright.
Cowboys @ Patriots (-6.5) ~ “America’s Team” takes on the Patriots. Go figure! Rob Ryan has had some success neutralizing Tom Brady in the past. This won’t be one of those times. But the Patriots defense couldn’t stop Boise St. so the 6 ½ are like red beans and rice – it tastes real good!
Saints (-5 1/2) @ Bucs ~ Tampa’s pirates were waxed by the Niners’ gold rush last week so look for them to show some character and put up a fight in their own crib. It won’t be enough to win but it will be enough to cover the line.
Vikings @ Bears (-2 ½) ~ If Jared Allen doesn’t break Jay Cutler in half the Bears win and cover easily. This won’t be a memorable homecoming for Donovan McNabb. Growl with the grizzlies!
Dolphins @ Jets (-6 ½) ~ After the Jets filet the fish Rex Ryan will resurrect his senseless Super Bowl smack and then head out for another g****m snack.
