Squashing the ‘stashing’ narrative

I think it’s safe to say we’re pretty deep into the “Predict the 53 Man Roster” season, and between injuries, suspensions, and eventual cut downs on 31 other rosters leading to Ravens signings? Nailing those final 10-12 spots are really more of a crap shoot than predicting snowfall in Maryland.

(“blizzard coming!! … ah, I meant a dusting.”)

Alas, plenty of pink slips will get handed out in order to get the roster down, and for many trying to accurately forecast the 53 in Baltimore, there’s one increasingly obnoxious narrative flying off the handle that is driving me absolutely insane.

“Stash.”

Indeed, fans aplenty think the Ravens can just stash a player on the IR to hide them from 31 other franchises.

Jaleel Scott struggling? STASH HIM!

Mark Andrews is coming along slowly? STASH HIM TOO!

Tim White falling behind in the PR/KR gig? STASH HIM UNTIL HE CURES HIS DROPS! 

WHILE WE’RE AT IT, STASH SOME O-LINE AND SECONDARY DEPTH AS WELL!

Why do folks think this “stash” concept is so simple? I’m honestly not sure. I would guess that in their train of thought, the Ravens simple go to a player and ask him and he’s like “that’s cool coach! I’ll go play Madden all year while getting paid! See ya in the Spring!” And then it’s done, and they go away, and everyone is happier than before their stash convo. 

Yeah … that’s not how it works. 

At all.

Let’s use Ravens rookie 4th round WR Jaleel Scott as the perfect example. Here’s how that conversation would go if they asked to stash him.

Harbs: Jaleel, please come into my office.

[steps into office, sits down]

JS: What’s up coach?

Harbs: Yeah, the thing is? You’re not good. I know we drafted you in the fourth round, but you’re letting us down and you clearly won’t be contributing to this team in 2018. So instead of cutting you, we’re going to offer you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity … “STASH!”

JS: Why did you do ‘jazz hands’ when you said ‘stash?’ And why the hell would I want to do that?

Harbs: Listen. We don’t want to lose you. BUT we also don’t want you here taking up a valuable roster spot. So, we would simply give you an IR designation with… I don’t know like a broken hand or knee injury? Then you’d get paid to sit on IR all year, and do whatever you want! Sounds awesome right?!

JS: Nah, just cut me then, so I can find a new team that wants me.

Harbs: Yeaaaaa … see if we cut you, we know you’ll get poached before hitting the practice squad, and we really want you to grow and develop with the Ravens … just not this year because you suck. 

JS: Okay, so you want me to fake an injury?

Harbs: Yes.

JS: And not play this year?

Harbs: YES.

JS: And just come back next year for OTAs?

Harbs: YAASSSS!!

JS: … so I just have to lie about an injury, not spend the year developing with the team, and even though I won’t cost myself a year of eligibility with the injury designation, I end up an ERFA instead of an RFA in my final year of the rookie deal, which means you keep me at pennies instead of possibly getting a decent contract offer as an RFA from another team, or even a franchise tag, inevitably costing myself millions along the way?

Harbs: Umm … yes?

[Jaleel Scott gets up, walks out, slams door, probably flips off Harbaugh too]

Sounds like a winning formula to me!

Listen, I get the logic if a guy is already injured, and won’t be back to practicing until midseason, but the team also doesn’t want to release him in fear he’ll sign elsewhere. Tim White last year actually broke his hand — that wasn’t fabricated. He needed surgery — that wasn’t fabricated either. The only reason the “stash” term was used there is because the Ravens could’ve waived him with an injury designation but they didn’t want to see him get his health back and end up on another roster.

That’s simply not the same as a fully healthy player being asked to fake an injury, or exacerbate a minor injury to help the team, while hurting themselves in the long-term and short-term. 

So no, don’t expect a healthy Mark Andrews, Jaleel Scott or Jordan Lasley to be ”stashed.” Don’t expect guys like Jermaine Elumenor to sacrifice a shot at playing elsewhere simply because the Ravens don’t want to lose him on the practice squad but don’t have a roster spot for him. Don’t expect a guy like Zach Sieler or Gus Edwards to hang around with a fake injury.

Sike, you don’t have to worry about Gus — he’s making the roster over Dixon’s gimpy self.