Two-Minute Drill: Rebound Week

Last week was flat out ugly.

U. G. L. Y.

And I’m not just talking about our Ravens! Overall, there was just some ugly football played across the NFL on Sunday, and quite frankly, I hope it never happens again. Here’s a brief look at how atrocious it was with some headliners:

“Not Very Gouda!”

Typically reliable Mason Crosby missed 5 (!) field goals in the Packers’ 31-23 loss to the Lions. Do math: (3*5) + 23 = 38 >>>> 31. Dude lost his team the game single-handedly. 

“New year, same Bortles”

Blake Bortles was never considered a good QB, but he was a solid game manager. So naturally when he faces a bottom-3 pass defense in the Chiefs he throws 5 (!) picks! Two in the end zone, one for a pick-6, and the other two in the red zone. There’s the Ba-la-ke we all know!

“Take it to the House-shka.“

The Titans took their 1-loss record up to Buffalo, and watched former-Raven Stephen Hauschka launch a 46-yard field goal through the uprights with time expiring to give the Bills the W. So to be clear – the Bills have been demolished by Baltimore and Green Bay, while beating Minnesota and Tennessee. Okay then.

“Felines Fluster Fins”

The Dolphins took a 17-0 lead. The Dolphins gave up a 17-0 lead. The Dolphins lost 27-17 after a 24-0 fourth quarter by the Bengals, and a pair of Ryan Tannehill interceptions. Welcome back, Miami. 

“The Battle for Texas.”

The Houston Texans and the Dallas Cowboys… just kidding, nobody watched those two awful teams.

Unfortunately, the ugly play didn’t stop there…

LAST WEEK: BALTIMORE 9 CLEVELAND 12

I’m going to be honest with you folks: I didn’t watch the Ravens-Browns game. 

In fact, I was at John Carroll High School watching my kid in his 9-10 baseball game, and I gotta tell ya… I don’t feel the angst most of you do. It’s one thing to see the scoreboard and get updates during the game, but a whole different kind of hurt to actually dedicate three hours midday on Sunday to watch the Browns’ mid-20’s ranked defense absolutely disarm the Ravens’ top-5 offense as if it were 2017 Marty, Joe & Co. all over again. 

Obviously, we have no highlights to discuss. Low lights, sure, but who wants to go there?

Let’s just ignore it. Call it an anomaly, and move on. 

THIS WEEK: RAVENS (3-2) @ TITANS (3-2)

Sunday 10/14 @ 4:25pm

By a show of hands, who is ready for the Ravens ‘3rd straight road game, and 4th roadie in the last five weeks!?

It’s just unreal how this scheduling works, but it’s whatever I suppose…

O v D: The Ravens offense hasn’t scored a touchdown since the first quarter vs Pittsburgh two weeks ago. That’s not ideal. And this week, they get to go toe-to-toe with the Titans, who rank 7th in yards per game allowed, 3rd in passing yards per game allowed, 26th in rushing yards per game allowed, and 3rd in points per game allowed. 

So the weakness to exploit on the Titans is their run defense?

Splendid. 

D v O: While the Ravens offense struggled in Cleveland, their defense remained stout (I SWEAR if one of you try to pull the “well they gave up the game-winning field goal!” crap I will reach through your phone/tablet/computer…). Baltimore remains top dog in points per game allowed, while they sit 5th in rushing yards per game allowed, 4th in the pass, and 3rd in yards per game. The Titans offense?

TRASH.

29th in points, 29th in pass yards per game, 29th in total yards per game, and 17th in rushing yards.

Looks like we’re gonna have us a defensive scrap on Sunday, boys!

Prediction: 

On Monday I was talking myself off the Ravens ledge. Tuesday morning I was starting to feel a bit better, and by that night while recording the Neutral Zone Infraction podcast (no shame in the name drop game)? The arrogance was back. 

Baltimore’s defense will handle the Titans’ piss-poor offense. They’ve had one bad half all year thus far, and facing a bottom-3 offense shouldn’t change that fact on Sunday. I’m calling for four turnovers – three interceptions (Jimmy Smith, Jimmy Smith, CJ Mosley), and a fumble recovery (forced fumble by Suggs, recovered by Matt Judon). They’ll give up their first 2nd half touchdown, but it’ll be a moot point given the score late in the game.

The Ravens offense had an off game, and I refuse to believe it’s any more than that. If you took away Michael Crabtree‘s impersonation of “What the offspring of Breshad Perriman and Lee Evans would look like” the Ravens come out on top. Marty will get back to his creative play calling, and Joe will rebound in the passing game, mostly by avoiding Crabs (life advice right there). A modest 63% completion will be leaps and bounds better than last week, coupled with 280 yards, three TDs and a pick to boot. Snead with a pair of TDs, Hayden Hurst with his first. 

Tucker gets an extra point blocked. Just because it’s the hip thing to do these days. 

And quite frankly? I’m playing the law of averages (as in avg ppg by both teams).

BAL 26

TEN 17

The Rest of the Slate

Kind of an awkward week, with a majority 1pm game slate, another at 4:05pm (Rams @ Broncos) and only one other at 4:25pm (Jags @ Cowboys). And if I’m being 100% honest? The schedule kinda sucks. A lot of bad teams playing good teams that seem predictable, and some matchups that just don’t intrigue. Who really wants to watch the Cards get blown out by the Vikes, or the Jags blank the Cowboys?

Alas, here’s a trio worth watching this Sunday:

Bolts @ Browns (Sunday 1pm): The Chargers have been my dark horse since the preseason, and so far they’ve impressed: 3-2 record with their only two losses vs the 5-0 Rams and 5-0 Chiefs. I’m looking for another W for LAC, and quite frankly, a loss for the Browns to bring that arrogant fan base back down to earth.

Bengals @ Steelers (Sunday, 1pm): I hate them both, and I’m honestly just pulling for a tie at this point. 2-2-2 Steelers would be hilarious, and should the Ravens handle their business, they’d be 1.5 games behind the Bengals. Kind of a win-win, or at least the closest to a win-win when it’s two teams you hate-hate.

Chiefs @ Patriots (SNF 8:25pm): Can the Chiefs remain undefeated? As bad as the Pats defense has been this year, I’m thinking so. But what makes this game even more intriguing to watch? The prospect of a 3-3 Pats team. I know there’s 10 games left but they don’t look like the typical #1 or #2 seed we’ve come to know over the past decade. And whenever Boston loses? We all win!

Rank ‘Em!

I’m feeling argumentative today, mostly because stupid people have stupid opinions about how to fix the Ravens following the loss to the Browns, so I’m going to take that logic, and apply myself.

Top-5 Awful Ravens Takes This Week.

5- Willie Snead should return kicks and punts.

Yea, let’s go ahead and sign Cyrus Jones back to the roster so that we can have our veteran wideout return all kicks and punts instead. Did ya know he’s only ever returned one kick and one punt in his career? Sit down…

4- Jordan Lasley should get Crab’s snaps.

Hey guys! Do ya know who can match Crabs with a propensity to drop passes? You got it: Jordan Lasley! So why the hell would the Ravens give him Crab’s snaps? If anybody should get them, it should be Chris Moore, but it still won’t happen. You know it. I know it. So let’s move on.

3- Play Lamar! Joe Sucks!

Did Joe have a bad game? Sure did. Will Lamar fix the offense that had ONE off game? Nah… not at all. Lamar simply isn’t ready yet, and you’d be a damn fool to think otherwise. Lamar will eventually lead the Ravens, but it won’t be in 2018, especially not after a single crap game by the offense where Joe was the 4th or 5th biggest issue. 

2- Trade for Mark Ingram!

Yeah. The 30th ranked run blocking offensive line (the ENTIRE line sans Yanda have atrocious grades) will suddenly become a non-factor if you trade for a 30-year-old running back coming off a four-game suspension. Also what assets are you trading exactly? Another pick in next year’s draft? Do you even have cap space to fit Ingram in there? Do you hear yourself talk?

1- Orlando Brown Jr to RT, James Hurst to LG, Alex Lewis to C fixes the OL.

This one KILLS me. Hurst’s biggest issue is run blocking, and yet, OBJr s a lower run blocking grade (PFF) on his limited snaps, and struggled with it at Oklahoma as well. Hurst may be an improvement over Lewis at LG, but Lewis is coming off his best game of the season. And Skura? 17th ranked C. Lewis at C? Why because his dad played there and you think he might be better than Skura? STOP IT ALREADY. YEESH.