Browns Fans Embarrass Themselves, Again

Street Talk Browns Fans Embarrass Themselves, Again

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Happy Friday. I’m annoyed.

I’m not going to add the kid’s video in here – he doesn’t deserve more view s- or the undeservingly pompous Browns rookie’s tweet, but feel free to look them up on the Twitters if you haven’t seen them. Otherwise, the short & sweet version of what we witnessed in the Twitterverse yesterday went something like this:

  1. Browns DE Myles Garrett signs a chunky new deal to remain a mainstay at the Factory of Sadness.
  2. Willie Snead retweets a fantastic monetary breakdown of Garrett’s new deal.
  3. Random Browns fan tweets video rant about Snead being a hack because the Browns cut him once upon a time & he’s not a dominant star in the league.
  4. Rookie Safety that fell hard in the 2019 draft felt the need to chime in.

Listen, as a Ravens fan, I totally get the concept of arrogance.

But we’re allowed to be arrogant.

Let’s do a quick comparison of franchises for fun, shall we?

— Ravens QB Lamar Jackson is the reigning NFL MVP. The last Browns player to win an MVP was QB Brian Sipe… 40 years ago in 1980.

— Since 1999 (Browns 2.0) the Ravens have been to the playoffs 12 times, including two Super Bowl victories… the Browns have a whopping ONE playoff appearance (18 years ago) and as many Super Bowl Rings as I currently own.

— In the same stretch of 21 years, the Browns have finished last in their division 15 laughable times, and never better than 2nd. The Ravens? Six 1st place finishes, while only once holding that cellar spot.

I could keep going, but this should about cover it before we dig into those inexplicably pompous players and fans of the 2019 Paper Champs.

Let’s start with the hack-job, and self-proclaimed ‘CEO of Ohio,’ that went after Snead, because the kid actually makes his franchise look idiotic. Just think about how Snead’s career has played out…

Was Snead cut from the Browns? Absolutely was! But what happened next?

Oh yanno… Snead goes on to have a 69 reception/984 yard/3 TD season followed by a 72/895/4 season, both solid WR2 stat lines. Comparatively in those two years (2015 & 2016) the Browns WR2s were Brian Hartline (46/523/2) and Corey Coleman (33/413/3). The fact that the Browns let Snead walk out the door, only to see him blow away their backup plans is LAUGHABLE… and yet, oh so typical of the Browns.

Great job promoting your team, kiddo!

Then there’s Grant Delpit, the current Browns rookie and former LSU standout who shone bright in 2018, only to get lazy in 2019, resulting in his tumbling in the draft. The same kid whose new team actually traded DOWN to get him.

Where does an unproven rookie find room to talk? The kid was once a top-10 lock in the 2020 draft, only to regress in 2019 and tumble down draft boards. His tackling is reminiscent of a cross between a Chris Davis strike 3 & Bengals Nick Vigil trying to tackle Lamar Jackson (see: epic LJ spin-cycle move)… and he thinks he can chirp at a veteran wideout like that?

Maybe somebody should remind the Browns rookie safety what happened last time he met Ravens rookie wideout Devin Duvernay less than a year ago…

I expect plenty more of that to come – on behalf of Snead too – and Browns fans to inevitably crawl back into their hole in a few short months here.

One last thought for those Brownies fans railing on Snead & the Ravens in the replies, as they seemingly love to do every year before the inevitable sense of defeat sets in by mid-October, and they anxiously await basketball season… well, used to until LeBron left them high and dry (again) and another Cleveland franchise found their way to the cellar (also, again).

It’s very simple Browns fans: lock it up, be humble, show humility, and earn respect.

EARN. RESPECT.

Nobody respects arrogance that your team can’t back up. Nobody covets Paper Champs. Nobody cares about your yearly excuses for why your team failed miserably once again (Wahhh it’s the coach! Wahhh it’s injuries!). Nobody cheers for you outside of your little bubble of insecurity in Ohio. NFL fans would rather eat day-old Skyline Chili in Cincy while watching their team play the Bengals than go to Cleveland and deal with your ‘1st half hubris/2nd half paper bag fans.

Down Goes Bosa

And also, while we’re here, nobody likes your uniforms, or thinks the changes y’all made were good by any means… that is, if we could even identify changes to the uniforms?

Oh look! The stripe is 0.25” thicker on the pants! And the helmet is closer to Home Depot Orange now!

If they really wanted a solid change? Maybe pick between having a dog mascot… and a Keebler Elf mascot (hint: choose the dog and put the elf on a shelf!).

Cleveland Browns fans with paper bags over their heads.

Maybe… just maybe… if your players focused on getting better, and your fans focused on the tire fire in their own backyard before trying to come at a top-tier NFL franchise, you might be a little more tolerable.

Probably not, though.

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Adam Bonaccorsi

About Adam Bonaccorsi

Living on the farce-side of Baltimore sports, Adam spends his time focusing on the satirical nature of our local teams- conveniently, sometimes the narrative writes itself! He's not one to shy away from controversial opinions, speaking his mind, or dropping a truth bomb into the Purple Kool Aid. More from Adam Bonaccorsi
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