First-round draft pick. Clutch playoff performer. Super Bowl MVP. Internet meme. Now Joe Flacco can add another title to his business card – NFL’s Most Attractive Man.
Say what?
No, it’s true. The apparel site Fanatics asked “impartial observers” to rank the headshots of NFL players on a scale of 1 (butt ugly) to 10 (dreamy). January Joe came out on top.
Kyle Juszczyk made the list too, at number eight.
According to these “impartial observers,” the Ravens have the best-looking team in the AFC North.
It’s a good thing for Joe that these observers were shown recent headshots, and not older ones. As we Ravens fans are quite aware, Joe has undergone a bit of a continuous makeover since he got to Baltimore in 2008.
There was “unibrow Joe,” who made us wonder if they had mirrors at Delaware.
In those days, Joe was more likely to be compared to Bert of the children’s show “Bert & Ernie” than he was to Brad Pitt or um…I dunno. Ladies, which men are eye candy these days? I think I saw that The Rock was People’s Sexiest Man Alive last year. Let’s go with The Rock.
Then there was 2011 Joe with his Fu Manchu mustache.
Super Bowl Joe was clean-shaven again, save for a day or two of stubble, but was still rocking the military-grade high fade.
A few years later, Joe had let his hair and beard grow out, and the ladies started to take notice.
(Hey, is that Mike Wallace I spy? Hey Mike…stick around, please.)
So congrats to Joe on this very odd and unexpected honor. Of course, I expect more than a few comments below from Ravens fans yelling about Joe spending more time in front of the mirror than in front of his playbook. More time at the salon than in the film room. More attention to the shape of his eyebrows than to the shape of his body. Worrying more about hot wax treatments than hot routes. Reading more beauty magazines than defenses. Being more likely to climb into a stylist’s chair than to climb the pocket.
I mean, at least he looks good while throwing bone-headed interceptions, right?
On top of congratulating Joe, I have to give my wife some credit here. She’s been “Wacko for Flacco” since Day 1 back in 2008. She must have seen the makings of the evidently sexy dude we see before us today. Good eye, honey!
I hope she wasn’t expecting a similar evolution when she agreed to marry me…hey, ya win some, ya lose some!
