Pittsburgh,PA.–In a surprise move, Head Coach Mike Tomlin has announced Rudolph as the starting QB for Sunday’s game against the Cincinnati Bengals.
With Dasher out indefinitely due to a high hoof sprain, and Dancer prone to interceptions in the red zone, Tomlin stated emphatically that Rudolph’s shiny nose gives the Steelers the best chance to win on Christmas Eve.
“It’s next reindeer up,” said Tomlin, while adding “He’s got the intangibles to lead us through the AFC North fog.”
Unfortunately, most of the elf gossip this week surrounds the turmoil in the Steelers locker room.
After Comet refused to throw a key block to avoid potential injury, Cupid took to Twitter (X) to voice his frustration, saying “Dude is on offense–ain’t like he’s Blitzen.”
Comet’s agent fired back, citing a Claus in his contract that exempts him from having any physical contact on the field.
On his podcast, retired Steelers quarterback,Yukon Cornelius, lambasted the Steelers for their lack of toughness during reindeer games. “Back when I was playing, we were the abominable snowman of the AFC-–now it’s like a bunch of misfit toys.” Hermie the dentist could not be reached for comment.
When asked if he thought the abominable snowman would be a better fit at QB this Sunday, Cornelius replied, “That’s tough to say. Rudolph has been shy in the pocket—but bumbles fumble.”
While Rudolph has shown a propensity for being timid in the past, he has since removed the cover from his nose, and he received an unexpected boost of confidence from Taylor Swift when she Tweeted “I think you’re cute.”
